"What is my future? What does the Lord have in mind for me? Am I to find your* mother this year? Am I to go to a graduate school this year? It feels like the future is very much like a black hole that I don't know where it goes to or what's inside. I am walking in complete darkness. I feel as though I an't see the end. I don't see the light. I am trapped. Trapped inside a black hole called future. There is no end. I take a step but nothing changes. The surroundings look exactly the same. I take another step. I feel something but everything still looks the same. Where am I? Where am I going? Is there an end to this? Will this end? Will I be able to see the light again?"I keep moving because I don't know what else to do. I know I can't just sit still. I must escape from here. Am I going somewhere? I don't know. I am just walking, hoping that I will get somewhere. I know where I will be. I know what I will have. However, I am in darkness right now, just walking aimlessly hoping I will get there someday..."
*I write in my journal as if I am talking to my future children.
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