If you go to BYU and come to the library often, you would have seen an African guy going around talking to random girls. I was very annoyed by his behaviors for a long time and finally, I went up to the guy and talked to him.
He usually goes up to girls and strikes up a conversation about dating in the US or how he needs advice on dating. Last night, he asked the wife of one of my best friends how he could break up with his current girlfriend then started talking about how there is racism in the Church and what not. So I went up to him and told him to cut it out but my friend's wife assured me that she was all right. This dude told me that he would talk to me after. So after I got off work, I talked to him for an hour.
Before I tell you things we talked about and things I analyzed, I want to tell you the outline of my analysis. First, I want to try to tell you what he told me of his background and where he was coming from. Then I am going to tell you what I think about things he told me. Last of all, I will tell you what I think is wrong with what he is doing. I will also try my best to remember what he said.
He told me that he served his mission in Michigan. He is active in the Church. What he is trying to do is raise awareness of racism in the Church. He had many relationships that ended because of the issue of racism. He said that he is currently dating a girl whose parents do not approve of the relationship because he is black and he claims that his stake president told him not to date this girl. He was talking to my friend's wife to figure out how to break up with the girl. He assured me that he talks to girls because he needs advice and that the topic of racism comes up to explain where he is coming from.
He also stated that racism in the Church is serious and that there were three black professors who got fired because they taught about racism in the Church. When I asked him why he takes so much time to talk about these things, he told me that because people are interested in it. Because people ask questions. When I told him that he could change people's perspective through actions rather than words, he told me a story about how this Muslim woman got to give a fireside in front of members of a stake and changed many people's perspective. (Oh, he also called me a Pharisee and a Sadducee.)
OK. So do I truly understand where he is coming from? No. I feel like everything he told me was not about himself but the problem. I still don't understand exactly why he is doing this. "Raising awareness" seems very far fetched.
Here is my analysis of our conversation. First, I heard him tell someone before that he served his mission in Texas. I highly doubt that he has been talking to girls for past two and half years (and more) to get advice on relationship because I doubt that he actually dated anyone (except this one blonde girl...). Also, I don't understand why he needs to bring up the issue of racism and even go to different website that talk about racism in the Church. If you need advice on dating, you do not need to talk about racism in the Church.
Also, I believe that he should talk about issues like this with his bishop, not with others especially with people he does not know. He needs to ask advice from people who know him well and those who know this girl well.
Many many people whom he talks to do not care about what he has to say. They don't want him to talk for hours and they do not ask questions. They are forced into this kind of conversation because he led the conversation that way. He is manipulating them to think that he is raising awareness. If he truly wanted to raise awareness, he does not need to hide his intentions by saying something about getting advice on dating.
The example that he gave of the Muslim woman also does not support what he is doing because people who came to the fireside came because they wanted to not because they were forced to. This woman did not trick them into listening to her. They were ready to learn from her. On the other hand, the African dude forces people to listen to him and causes contention to arise from others. He may not feel it but others do.
I told him that he should not counter-argue with others because to them, he is threatening their beliefs and values. Their "truths" are challenged by this guy and they are trying to defend it but all he does is counter-argue it and cause the spirit of contention to arise from them.
To summarize everything, if his intention is truly to raise awareness, I gladly accept it (meaning his intention). I also do agree that there is such thing as racism in the Church but I do not believe that is is always negative. It could be neutral meaning it is not necessarily against other races (perhaps just stereotypes in their minds). I still do not trust him and believe that he has other intentions than what he has told me. I also believe that his way about "raising awareness" is wrong. He should inform them rather than argue with them. He should not be overbearing. He should walk away when things get heated up.
After having said all this, I told you that I would talk about what the real problem is. The real problem is that it does not matter whether there is racism in the Church or not just like it doesn't matter if Christ was married or not. It does not save us. If he is truly worried about racism, he should be encouraging us to follow Christ, not bash on the Church. He should focus on Christlike attributes. He should talk about how we can follow two greatest commandments: love God and love your neighbors. When you follow those two commandments, we would do everything that God commands us and we would love everyone equally. All the problems in the world would go away. We wouldn't have to worry about racism, sexism, wars, contentions, anger, etc. What truly matters is always the foundation of the gospel. Nothing else matters until you have the strong foundation of the gospel.
He usually goes up to girls and strikes up a conversation about dating in the US or how he needs advice on dating. Last night, he asked the wife of one of my best friends how he could break up with his current girlfriend then started talking about how there is racism in the Church and what not. So I went up to him and told him to cut it out but my friend's wife assured me that she was all right. This dude told me that he would talk to me after. So after I got off work, I talked to him for an hour.
Before I tell you things we talked about and things I analyzed, I want to tell you the outline of my analysis. First, I want to try to tell you what he told me of his background and where he was coming from. Then I am going to tell you what I think about things he told me. Last of all, I will tell you what I think is wrong with what he is doing. I will also try my best to remember what he said.
He told me that he served his mission in Michigan. He is active in the Church. What he is trying to do is raise awareness of racism in the Church. He had many relationships that ended because of the issue of racism. He said that he is currently dating a girl whose parents do not approve of the relationship because he is black and he claims that his stake president told him not to date this girl. He was talking to my friend's wife to figure out how to break up with the girl. He assured me that he talks to girls because he needs advice and that the topic of racism comes up to explain where he is coming from.
He also stated that racism in the Church is serious and that there were three black professors who got fired because they taught about racism in the Church. When I asked him why he takes so much time to talk about these things, he told me that because people are interested in it. Because people ask questions. When I told him that he could change people's perspective through actions rather than words, he told me a story about how this Muslim woman got to give a fireside in front of members of a stake and changed many people's perspective. (Oh, he also called me a Pharisee and a Sadducee.)
OK. So do I truly understand where he is coming from? No. I feel like everything he told me was not about himself but the problem. I still don't understand exactly why he is doing this. "Raising awareness" seems very far fetched.
Here is my analysis of our conversation. First, I heard him tell someone before that he served his mission in Texas. I highly doubt that he has been talking to girls for past two and half years (and more) to get advice on relationship because I doubt that he actually dated anyone (except this one blonde girl...). Also, I don't understand why he needs to bring up the issue of racism and even go to different website that talk about racism in the Church. If you need advice on dating, you do not need to talk about racism in the Church.
Also, I believe that he should talk about issues like this with his bishop, not with others especially with people he does not know. He needs to ask advice from people who know him well and those who know this girl well.
Many many people whom he talks to do not care about what he has to say. They don't want him to talk for hours and they do not ask questions. They are forced into this kind of conversation because he led the conversation that way. He is manipulating them to think that he is raising awareness. If he truly wanted to raise awareness, he does not need to hide his intentions by saying something about getting advice on dating.
The example that he gave of the Muslim woman also does not support what he is doing because people who came to the fireside came because they wanted to not because they were forced to. This woman did not trick them into listening to her. They were ready to learn from her. On the other hand, the African dude forces people to listen to him and causes contention to arise from others. He may not feel it but others do.
I told him that he should not counter-argue with others because to them, he is threatening their beliefs and values. Their "truths" are challenged by this guy and they are trying to defend it but all he does is counter-argue it and cause the spirit of contention to arise from them.
To summarize everything, if his intention is truly to raise awareness, I gladly accept it (meaning his intention). I also do agree that there is such thing as racism in the Church but I do not believe that is is always negative. It could be neutral meaning it is not necessarily against other races (perhaps just stereotypes in their minds). I still do not trust him and believe that he has other intentions than what he has told me. I also believe that his way about "raising awareness" is wrong. He should inform them rather than argue with them. He should not be overbearing. He should walk away when things get heated up.
After having said all this, I told you that I would talk about what the real problem is. The real problem is that it does not matter whether there is racism in the Church or not just like it doesn't matter if Christ was married or not. It does not save us. If he is truly worried about racism, he should be encouraging us to follow Christ, not bash on the Church. He should focus on Christlike attributes. He should talk about how we can follow two greatest commandments: love God and love your neighbors. When you follow those two commandments, we would do everything that God commands us and we would love everyone equally. All the problems in the world would go away. We wouldn't have to worry about racism, sexism, wars, contentions, anger, etc. What truly matters is always the foundation of the gospel. Nothing else matters until you have the strong foundation of the gospel.
