Friday, December 28, 2012

Being a Writer


I love what this says. I don't write all the time but there have been months when I had a lot to write about. When I start writing a post but feel like I won't have a lot to say, I don't finish it at all because there is no point trying to come up with things to say when I got nothing to say.


This is also true that people don't think that you are "legit" if it's on the Internet. I am a writer even if I only write blog posts.

Images from theoatmeal.com

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Being Alone?

I am reading a book called "The Infinite Atonement" by Tad R. Callister. I got it for Christmas from the Callisters.

I realized something profound from this book. Elder Callister remarks, "One wonders about [Christ's] emerging godhood, as he grew from infancy to boyhood, and boyhood to manhood. What were his feelings? What was it like to be a God among mortals  With whom did he discuss his burdens? ...none was his intellectual and spiritual equal. None could see and feel and understand as he saw and felt and understood."

We always complain about how there is no one who understands how we feel. However, we have our friends who can comfort us because they could go through what we go through. Also, the Savior who completely understands how we feel and what we are going through because He suffered them all to "succor" us. On the other hand, when He was on this earth, who could understand Him? His disciples could never understand what He thought and felt because they were mortals. They could never understand what He was about to go through and couldn't comfort Him. Christ knew way more than anyone and could not have discussions with them because His knowledge surpassed everyone else's.

Do you feel lonely? How do you think Christ must have felt? He could have been lonelier than anyone but He endured and served everyone. We do not even think about Him being lonely because He didn't show it. He did suffer it all that we might not suffer.

How I Met Your Mother

This is not depressing at all. This is not necessarily about dating, friends, family, gospel, philosophy, life, or mission. This post has little bits of each.

I have been watching a show called "How I Met Your Mother." It's not super hilarious nor always appropriate. However, the reason why I like the show is the thought provoking quotes and how much I can relate to Ted Mosby, the main character. In the show, Ted is telling his kids how he met his wife. The past Ted is always looking for "the one." However, the future Ted always reminds his kids that all the stories/events that he tell them somehow lead up to how he met his wife.

(I will come back to the show in a little bit) Yesterday, I went to Panda Express and got a fortune which said, "A sudden change in plans will lead to good fortune." It was very fitting because I had made a decision about something and felt like that is the way it's supposed to be. OK, it's about asking someone on a date but I decided not to (and I am glad I decided not to).

The fortune I got was like the show "How I Met Your Mother" because the whole show is about how different events that Ted goes through somehow lead to meeting his wife. I believe that this is true for me and for others as well. We are constantly choosing, changing, and going through life with different events. Whatever decision we make prepares us for the moment when we meet our spouse or even anyone in our lives whom we will impact one way or another.

All the experiences I had, whether be good or bad, lead me to that moment when I will meet my future wife. The moment that I am waiting for. When that time comes, I will be prepared to meet her, talk to her, and get to know her. (Does that mean I believe that there is "the one"?) Or I will be prepared to choose who that person will be as I meet many girls, talk to them, and get to know them then we will start to trust each other, respect each other, and honor each other. Eventually, we will develop love for each other.

In other posts, I wrote about how we need to prepare to serve others. You can't go back in time to change things but you can always change the past right now. If you made a mistake in the past, choose to become a better person through your mistakes. You don't need to go back in time to correct your mistakes but choose now to do what is right. Don't make the same mistake again. Always choose looking forward in the future. Prepare now. Prepare for the first moment when you will meet your spouse. Prepare to serve others when God calls you to serve.
"Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?
"Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson—
"That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.
"Hence many are called, but few are chosen." -Doctrine and Covenants 121:34-35, 37, & 40-
Related Posts
"For that moment..."
Instrument of God
A Privilege to Know God
If You Could Go Back in Time...

Wedding, Graduation, Adventures


My mom and I arrived at Nauvoo around 3 on Friday (12/14) and thought that we will have to hang out until 5:30 but we ran into a friend, J., who informed me that Lia's endowment session is at 4 not 2:30. So we got to do an endowment session with Lia who was so surprised when she saw us in the Creation room. She was so happy that we were able to make it to her endowment session.

The sealing ceremony was so fantastic. The entire time, I was thinking about how this new family is going to be together for eternity. Even if my family (my parents and us) will not be together forever, Kwan and Lia will be and I was so ahppy for them. They will be all right. :)



Saturday was Kwan's graduation.
My brother's wedding was in the morning then in the afternoon, I went to my friend, C.'s wedding with A. We all grew up together in Macomb ward but we weren't able to hang out for a while. Also, C. stopped coming to church but we are still friends and love him.

Around 4, I went over to the church building to set things up for the reception. After setting things up, I wandered around and got to the chapel where I felt so much at home. I almost cried because this is where everything started. This is where I learned the gospel. Is this what it would feel like to return to Heavenly Father?
At 5:30, there was a baptism which made me think of my own baptism in Macomb almost 11 years ago. This really is my home and everyone in Macomb is my family.
The reception was so amazing. the food was so good! Sister T. prepared so much food and had a ton of leftover. The center piece that Lia made were really cute too. She had different items that represent the number of years Kwan and Lia have known each other, years they dated, months that they had been engaged, etc. Super cute! :) The entire time, though, I followed them around and took pictures of them with guests.
Sunday was so awesome because I got to see all the familiar faces! These are they who encouraged me, taught me, and led me to become who I am now. I will always be in debt to them. Many complimented (?) me saying, "You look so different!" Thanks...I guess? They are used to seeing me with a long hair. I told Sister A. White that it's the suit. :) In a serious note, I am different because I have changed over the years and many things have changed me for good.
A detour

On Monday, my mom and I flew out to the Denver airport. Both of our flights got delayed but mine eventually got cancelled so I had to go to an information center to figure out what was going on. While I was waiting in line, I started talking to a girl behind me. It turns out that she was going into the MTC the next day and going to Washington D.C. on her mission. Her name was Evelin from Estonia but spoke perfect English.
The hotel room



My dinner
The airline put us in 11:30 am flight the next morning and gave us some vouchers to stay at a hotel and for free meals. Even though my mom's flight was going to leave in an hour and half, I decided to help Evelin with her travel so I said good-bye to my mom then Evelin and I rode a shuttle to the hotel where we had dinner together and then breakfast together the next morning.

On Tuesday, I finally arrived at SLC and got my luggage that arrived the night before. I said good-bye and good luck to Evelin and we went our separate ways.

What an adventure!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

My Photoshop Skills

I have been using Photoshop for a while to work on my brother's pictures (soon to be posted). While I was working on them, my friend asked me to do a little project for him which is the following.













I used these two pictures (above) to create the final picture (below) for my friend.


This is a little different technique than the magic wand tool and I kind of like this a lot more than using the magic wand tool which can be very meticulous.

If any of you want me to do something like this (during the break), let me know. I would love to do it since I got plenty of free time.


Friday, December 21, 2012

Dear Future Wife,

I don't know who you are...

But I bet you are beautiful...


You wouldn't need to change a thing at all...


I would do anything for you...


When the time is right...

Until we meet...

Thursday, December 20, 2012

I Work at a Zoo Called "Library" Part 22


Last Tuesday night, I was working 'till 2 am. My friend J. came by to talk and as I was talking to him, I saw this guy who was using one of the library computers near the help desk. Some of the images looked very questionable but I couldn't tell clearly what he was looking at, so I asked J. to check it out. When J. came back, he informed me that the guy was definitely looking at some inappropriate pictures of guys (dudes, males, men) so I went and verified it then called the security.

As the security came to the desk, this guy stood up and left his computer. One of them followed after him but lost him somehow. While the search was going on, another security and I figured out this guy's name with which they found a picture of him on Facebook to put it on security desk monitors just in case if he tries to escape.

Later BYU police came, got on this guy's computer and took some pictures as evidence. They asked for my info and my witness statement also. They finally caught him and I don't know what happened to the guy.

____________________________________________________________________________________
After I helped a patron on a chat, she sent another message about a minute later.
Patron: are you the one sitting at the help desk?
Me: Yes, I am.
Patron: turn around :)

So I turned around and saw a group of people waving at me.

Me: (on the chat) Oh, hi.
Patron: LOL. gotta keep u awake! don't want u sleeping on the job.haha
Me: Thanks. :)

Related Posts
I Work at a Zoo Called "Library" Part 21
I Work at a Zoo Called "Library" Part 20
I Work at a Zoo Called "Library" Part 19
I Work at a Zoo Called "Library" Part 18
I Work at a Zoo Called "Library" Part 17

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Hope Revisited


Once again from Look Up, My Soul (I am re-reading it), Elder Lund focused on these points.
  • Hope is reminding myself that despair is not an inherent part of the challenge.
  • Hope is counting blessings rather than cursing circumstances.
  • Hope is saying, "I do not ask to see the distant scene--one step enough for me.
  • Hope is a beckoning light when "despair distills upon us a the dews from heaven."
  • Hope can "stabilize our lives regardless of the rough or uneven surfaces we might encounter at the time."
  • At times, hope can lighten the load; other times, it strengthens the bridges.
I am not going to explain what they mean to me but I want you to ponder how they apply to you.

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Saturday, December 1, 2012

My Life Is Not Mine

I talked to one of my friends who is going through really hard time. The funny thing is that I can relate to him with everything he's going through.

He has expectations of himself. He is a smart guy so he wants to get all A's. He wants to be successful like his siblings. He wants to have a girl friend and get married. However, these aren't exactly being realized.

As I was talking to him, he told me what he wants in his life (those expectations) then I asked him how God plays in those. He thought about it for a little while and told me that he didn't know.

He was a great missionary. He loved his mission. He was obedient and successful. He was happy. Then he came back from his mission and everything just fell apart. Nothing was going for him.

Now I want to share with you what I told him. We focus on others and their welfare on our mission. We knock on doors, street contact, teach, walk, bike, etc day and night, rainy or sunny, and what not. Why? Because we didn't care about ourselves but God's children. We wanted them to receive the fullness of the gospel. We were happy when they accepted the gospel. We rejoiced when we saw them enter into the waters of baptism. We cried when we saw them as they were sealed as an eternal family. We cared more about others than ourselves.

Then we come back to the "real" world where it tells us that we have to win. We have to worry about ourselves. We have to be competitive. "Dig a pit for thy neighbor." Is this why we are getting education? Is this why we get married? Is this why prophets tell us to get knowledge and have a family?

My patriarchal blessing advises me to get education, enjoy good health, get married, etc to serve others. Our mission doesn't have to end when we take off our name tag for the last time. We do not have to stop being missionaries. We are missionaries. We always have been missionaries. Our goal (even the mission of the Church) is to serve others. The city of Zion was not established by one person, but by many.
"Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
"This is the first and great commandment.
"And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." -Matthew 22:36-39-
The second greatest commandment is not to love ourselves but to love our neighbors. All the commandments  follow those two first commandments. You pick a commandment out of everything. Is it really for you or is it really about others? How does that change your perspective of that commandment?

Hence the title: my life is not mine. It's ours.

Related Posts
Realizations
Losing Yourself in the Service of God
Extraordinary

Friday, November 30, 2012

Collaboration


We are all afraid of conflicts which is dumb because through disagreements, we come up with the best solutions to problems. People think that when we are disagreeing, we are arguing. That's not true. You don't have to argue to disagree.

We can all disagree on things but discuss what we think without getting angry. What Margaret Heffernan said is true: when you "fight," you think more and more. Discussing and disagreeing help us to solidify out beliefs and thoughts.

I told you before that we all benefit each other. It doesn't matter if you don't agree with others because they can still benefit you by helping you solidify your thoughts or by helping you rethink your ideas.

Whatever the case might be, we need to speak up when we disagree. Don't go along with what others are doing. It's OK to be an anomaly. It's OK to contradict others. Like I said before, be an AGENT of yourself. Don't let others make choices for you.

Related Post

We All Are Still Figuring It Out


I know that she's talking about women but I feel the same way about myself. We pretend like we got everything figured out but we don't. We pretend like we don't have any weaknesses but we do.

It's OK to show people that you are not perfect. It's OK to admit that you don't know anything. I just learned that recently. Heck, you know a lot about my weaknesses. You know that I am not perfect. Did that change how people view me? Well, yes but that didn't push people away.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Realizations

Realization #1
In my psychology class, my non-LDS professor talked about whether God matters (in psychology, of course). He said that professors here at BYU who are devout Mormons do not pray before they start their research. Then I started to think about my life. Do I involve God in everything I do? I do not. Do I believe that God matters in my life? I do.
So this is what I should do. I should involve God in everything I do: taking tests, doing my homework, going to work, going to classes, asking a girl out on a date, etc.

Realization #2
In one of my classes today, a professor showed this video. As I was watching it, I couldn't help write down some of the thoughts/inspirations I received. It is true that no one knows how long you are going to live. You might have a disease that you don't know about like Powers's mother. Maybe, you will get in an accident tomorrow.
What I realized is that I have to seize the day (carpe diem); however, it's more than a day that I need to seize. I need to seize my life. Seize the life!
There are things you can control and things you can't control. I can't change the direction that clouds move. I can't control a lot of things. However, what I can control is what I should do. I should act instead of reacting or being acted upon. I am an agent of my life.
So I am going to ask a girl out on a date.

Realization #3
There are so many things that a girl can benefit from going on a date. I am not saying that in a boastful or prideful way. I think we all can benefit from each other. It could be from learning what each other is interested in to learning to be more patient. I don't care how I benefit this girl I want to ask out. I know that she will benefit and that's all I want her to get out of. If she's not willing to go on a date with me, she won't benefit from whatever I have to offer. I don't know what I have to offer but I know that there are things I can  offer.
The same goes for all of you. We all have a lot to offer to each other. That's why relationships (e.g., friendship, parent-child relationship, romantic relationship) are so important in our lives. We can't survive without having a relationship with someone.

Learn from others. Teach others. Live in a world where relationship matters. Where God matters.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Relationship

Notice that I did not label this as "depression" meaning it does not make me depressed. I just want to talk about few things.

You know the worst thing about getting out of a relationship? It's not spending weekends by yourself. It's not being depressed. The worst thing about getting out of a relationship is that you lose your best friend, who cares about you, who listens to you whenever you need to vent, and who makes you feel secure. I miss that more than anything.

People told me how they are jealous that I could still be friends with girls I dated. I thought this was the case until recently. I can't be friends with them because it hurts them for me to talk to them. I decided to not get hurt so it doesn't bother me anymore, but I don't want to hurt them so I shouldn't talk to them. No, I can't be friends with girls I dated because I care about them too much.

They are better off without me. What they probably don't realize is that while they are still hanging out friends on weekends, I am in my apartment by myself doing absolutely nothing productive. Do I feel bad for myself? No. I deserve it. I hope they will be happy.

My favorite movie is now "500 Days of Summer." I am definitely not saying that I hate girls. I just feel like I can relate to that movie so much. Things that happen in the movie, especially what Tom felt and thought throughout the movie, were what I have experienced in my dating life.

I know many girls don't like this movie. Now you understand why many guys don't like "chick flicks" (I am not pointing at myself).

Another thing I like about this movie is how Tom was willing to ask a girl out even after his heart got destroyed. He realized that things do happen for a reason and was able to move on from his last relationship. It's true that I can relate to his emotions during his dating period but I love how this movie ends. It gives me hope. It teaches me that I need to take a chance, two chances, or however chances I need to take.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." -Ecclesiastes 3:1-

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Extra Happiness

Event #1
As many of you might know, my brother is getting married on the 14th of December. Also, I will be having some interviews (hopefully) for grad schools soon. So I came to this conclusion: "I need a suit." My roommate, R., has bought a suit recently that he loves so I decided that I would go to the same store where R. got his suit.
Today, R. took me there and I tried on some suits and found the one that I liked. It didn't have a vest so I asked the owner and he told me that he could just order one. It's a dark blue suit with blue paisley pattern on the inside. Then the next door does alteration and the owner was a Korean lady so she gave me a discount. :) The total of a 3-piece suit with alteration around $400. No regrets. I am not worried about the money at all. I am just so stoked about wearing that suit.
I am even going to buy a new white shirt and a pair of dress shoes for the occasion. I AM SO EXCITED!

Event #2
When I came home after getting a suit, I checked my email and got an email from a professor of one of my classes. This is what he said:
Kyoo
Hi there. You got one of the highest paper grades in the class - congrats. As a result, I wonder if you might be willing to email me your paper. I'd like to keep it as an example for future generations of students, but, also as a sample student paper in my portfolio I will submit next year when I apply for tenure. I'll remove your name.

Also, you inquired about working on research with me. Remind me what your specific research interests are and what you plan to do for grad school and a career thereafter.

Thanks for being a great student,
Sam
I checked and I got 95 out of 100. The fact that he wanted to use my paper as an example for later AND as a sample paper! I was very flattered in many ways. Also, he is thinking about having me as one of his research assistant. That is awesome!

Overall
It's been a really good day. I even thought about asking a girl out on a date but I had to resist that. Too much, Kyoo. Too much. My excitement does not carry over to how she feels about me.
Anyways, I was happy today. I hope everyday will be like this.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Kyoo's Parenting 102

I guess this isn't exactly what I came up with but it's always good to listen to an Apostle of the Lord. I really like the fifth one.
"First, parents can pray in earnest, asking our Eternal Father to help them love, understand, and guide the children He has sent to them.
"Second, they can hold family prayer, scripture study, and family home evenings and eat together as often as possible, making dinner a time of communication and the teaching of values.
"Third, parents can fully avail themselves of the Church’s support network, communicating with their children’s Primary teachers, youth leaders, and class and quorum presidencies. By communicating with those who are called and set apart to work with their children, parents can provide essential understanding of a child’s special and specific needs.
"Fourth, parents can share their testimonies often with their children, commit them to keep the commandments of God, and promise the blessings that our Heavenly Father promises His faithful children.
"Fifth, we can organize our families based on clear, simple family rules and expectations, wholesome family traditions and rituals, and “family economics,” where children have household responsibilities and can earn allowances so that they can learn to budget, save, and pay tithing on the money they earn."
Related Post
Kyoo's Parenting 101

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Heaven Is...

I had many friends who encouraged me and let me know that they care about me. I realized that I can't let them down.

It is true that I felt like there was nothing that motivated me to go on; however, if the Celestial Kingdom is filled with families and friends who care about me, I think it's worth it.

Heaven is filled with people whom you love and care. Heaven is filled with people who love you and care about you.

That's all I need.

Friday, November 23, 2012

God's Plan

It is true that I might not reunite with my family after this life. It is true that I have really hard time with my family. My heart aches and I am sad that this is the case. However, God is omnipotent and omniscience.

He has blessed with me with wonderful families in the Church who took me in and cared for me. They loved me. They strengthened me. They taught me the gospel. I do love my own parents (if I didn't, I wouldn't feel hurt right now); however, I am grateful for all these families who gave me the knowledge of the gospel. I wish I had pictures of them but I don't.

They mean so much to me and I love them dearly.

To Live or Not

Today is not a good day at all.

My motivations to live are starting to diminish. Eternal family: that's gone. Being a parent: I feel like my children would be better off with someone else.

What else is there to live? Nothing.

I am seriously considering writing a will now. Why? Because I don't even know when things will happen that I won't be around anymore.

It won't be too hard to write it. I already thought about it and it won't say much.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

My New Fun

My new interest is Google+. I don't care much about pictures and what not but I love going to Local and looking at different restaurants and giving them reviews. It's actually pretty fun and I love reading what others said about restaurants that I've been and I love.


I guess it's kind of substituting my Facebook time...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Construction Done!

I finished fixing, modifying and what not. As you can see, it's a lot different than what it used to be. I should have taken a picture of the last one so I can compare but oh well.

The slideshow consists of pictures of things that I felt like describe who I am so enjoy!

Under Construction

I know, it looks different. This is one of my favorite template so I got it but it needs a lot of fixing. Once everything is fixed (getting rid of links that I don't want on my blog), I will let you know.

Unknown But Important Gifts of the Spirit

I wanted to share something from my friend's mission blog. She said:

"I've been reading out of a manual, 'The Gospel and the Productive Life,' and have found it to be interesting. I want to include something that I found to be interesting about spiritual gifts. I often feel very inadequate and found this to be insightful. Maybe there are some of you that feel the same way. This is from Marvin J.
Ashton:

'Taken at random, let me mention a few gifts that are not always evident or noteworthy or noteworthy but that are very important....

'The gift of asking; the gift of listening; the gift of hearing and using a still small voice; the gift of being able to weep; the gift of avoiding contention; the gift of being agreeable; the gift of avoiding vain repetition; the gift of seeking that which is righteous; the gift of not passing judgment; the gift of looking to God for guidance; the
gift of being disciple; the gift of caring for others; the gift of being able to ponder; the gift of offering prayer; the gift of bearing a mighty testimony; and the gift of receiving the Holy Ghost.'

I thought of a few more gifts: the gift of discernment of feelings and thoughts of others, the gift of awareness of self and others; gift of ability to comfort others."

I am grateful for her, for her blog, and for a tender mercy of the Lord. I am grateful for the gifts that I have received even though they might not be known to many but are very important to me and in my life. I am grateful for the gift of offering prayer and of looking to God for guidance.

I will have to write my friend and thank her. :)

Accepting

For a class, I had to read an article related to a topic that we were going to cover yesterday. The article I chose was "Acceptance of the unpleasant reality of chronic pain: effects upon attention to pain and engagement with daily activities." I actually enjoyed reading this and presenting it because I realized that this is true in a religious aspect. What this article talks about is that when chronic pain patients accept pain, accept that there is no cure, and stay optimistic, you are less likely to pay attention to pain and feel less pain. So how can we infer this to religion?

We believe in opposition in all things, right? If we believe that we have to experience sorrow to know happiness, why do we try so hard to push sorrow away from our lives? If we need to be tempted (but not necessarily give into temptations) to be strong, why do we try to shun temptations? It's contradicting. I am not saying that we should be sad or give into temptations; however, I am saying that we should make them a part of our lives. Let them stay where they are! Accepting the fact that you have temptations only make you strong because you are not giving into temptations but moving on with your life and choosing to be obedient.

We should also accept God's will instead of fighting against it. All I know of His will is that He wants me to be happy, to get married, and to raise my children uprightly before Him. So why should I be bothered by something I can't control? Why should I be bothered by how a girl might or might not feel about me? I can't change how she feels about me. I can't read her mind. All I can do is "do my best and leave the rest to [God]."

Related Posts

Sunday, November 18, 2012

A Kind of Father I Would Like To Be


For the longest time, I have been thinking about what kind of father I want to be. The video above shows a kind of father that I would like to be...a father whom my children would see.

I need to live the covenants I have made because it's not only my life that's at a stake but my future wife's and my children's. If I fail, they fail. I can't afford to do that. I will not let that happen.

I want to be a father and a husband who really listens and wants to meet everyone's needs. I want to know what their needs, wants, and desires are. I want to focus on their needs more than mine. I want them to always know and remember that I love them.

Related Post
Kyoo's Parenting 101

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Family Search Indexing

I probably should have talked about this long time ago but I just thought I would share it.

Second Monday of last month, my ward FHE group learned how to index. The guy who taught us how to index is in one of my psychology classes and the next day, he told me that we get prizes for indexing. If we index 500 names/month, we get a BYU water bottle. If we get 1000/month, a BYU baseball cap. 1500, a BYU hoodie. So I indexed like crazy like month and got up to around 700 names. Then the bishop of our Singles ward announced that I got the highest number of names indexed in front of the entire ward. Pretty embarrassing I must say.

This month, however, is different. There are people who want to compete even though I wasn't doing to compete or to win anything but these prizes. Also, I found out that there is a ward in our stake that wants to beat us at indexing. Last Sunday, we were down by 1000 names but by Monday, we passed them by 3000 names.

So by last Sunday, I only have done around 300 names. By Monday night, I did 1500 names. So far, I've done a little over 3100. By this morning, I was on the second place in my ward by 40 names (I had around 2300-ish). Am I winning? I don't know but I know I will get a BYU hoodie. :)

Also, the guy I told you about in the beginning told me that we are trying to beat the ward's own record from last November. We needed to get 5000 more names to beat the record this morning. I am guessing everyone was indexing today so I would assume that we only need around 2000 to 3000 names more to beat the record.

I encourage all of you to do it because it's so much fun and addicting! Also, you get way good at reading cursive. :)

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Repentance, Forgiveness, Agency

I am in need of repentance and of your forgiveness.

Recently, I have been selfish and thought only about myself. I worried about getting hurt and tried to protect myself. However, I have not thought about how you would feel or what you thought.

I could have only complained to you about my problems. I could have ignored you so I wouldn't get hurt. I am sorry. I should have thought about how you felt and you would feel.

Even now, I am worried about how I am feeling rather than helping patrons at work. I am doing mediocrity work rather than doing my best or being enthusiastic. I need to repent. I need to change.

I don't want to give excuses but I want you to be understanding at the same time. I have been hurt many times and I get depressed easily. Obviously, I don't want you to hurt me; however, I am not saying that it's by any of you but of myself. You see, I realized that it's not what happens that makes me sad; I make myself sad. Just like Satan can't make me do things, nothing can make me sad. I choose to be sad.

So don't feel bad if you think you caused me harm but forgive me if I blamed you or if you felt like I blamed you. I will repent and stop blaming others for my sadness. I will also do my best to choose to be happy.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Sleeping

This would be the first post that doesn't seem too depressing. :)

I realized the past two days that I hate sleeping. OK, maybe I realized that long time ago but sometimes I have a really hard time falling asleep especially under a certain circumstance.

The past few days I went to bed and was started to fall asleep, THEN something happened and woke me up COMPLETELY! The worst part is that when I wake up, I can't go back to sleep. I am literally wide awake. Also, even if I tried to fall asleep, I get this restless leg syndrome which drives me nuts! I toss and turn which doesn't help much when you try to fall asleep.

The only solution that worked so far is going to the living room and trying to sleep on the couch. That, for some reason, seems to work better than sleeping in my bed. I usually wake up after 10 minutes or so then I go back to my bed.

Ugh, it's so annoying.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Being Happy In the Moment


From an Apostle of the Lord


From a scientist of men


They are the same! What does that mean to you?

Trying to Live

If you feel like I am being mean to you, I am sorry. I am not trying to be mean; I am trying to live. I internalize things a lot and tend to get angry or depressed. When I tell you off or say mean things, I am not mad at you but I am trying to protect myself from...you know.

Anger sometimes helps me move on better than sadness. I might think bad of you to forget what happened or even you. I might not even talk to you. I might probably ignore you. I am only trying to live.

I am sorry if I make you mad. I am sorry if I make you sad.

If it helps you, get mad at me. Hate me. Despise me. Then forget me.

But let me live.

Friday, November 9, 2012

You Are Nothing But Good

When people think of any of Spider-Man movies, they think of this quote "With great power, comes great responsibility." Although it's one of the most famous quote, it doesn't seem to apply to me. However, today I was watching "The Amazing Spider-Man" and there was a part at the end where I cried. I cried because that's exactly how I felt. I related to him deeply.

The part was after Captain Stacy's funeral. Gwen came to talk to Peter but Peter told her that they can't see each other. After she left, Aunt May asks Peter if he was going to ask her out. Peter tells her no then Aunt May asks why not. He says, "I am not good enough for her." I feel like that all the time. I feel like I am not good enough for anyone. I keep hurting people. I keep disappointing people. Sometimes I don't even want to try to date because I feel like they would be better off without me.

However, what Aunt May told Peter was what gives me hope: "Peter, you are nothing but good."

People have told me over and over again that I am a good person, that I am good enough. I believe them...sometimes. I am not completely convinced many times.

As I was thinking about this, I thought about what matters the most. What matters the most is how God views me. Does my Father in Heaven think I am good enough? Am I good?
"My people must be tried in all things, that they may be prepared to receive the glory that I have for them, even the glory of Zion; and he that will not bear chastisement is not worthy of my kingdom." -Doctrine and Covenants 136:31-
 To be worthy or to be "good," I must endure all things. All things prepare me to for the eternal life...God's life, perfection.

Faith, hope, charity and patience.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Worst Day

Don't freak out guys. I am all right.

I got rid of Facebook. I screamed. I punched a wall several times. I hit my legs. I pounded a table. I got a knife and tried to slice my wrist. I didn't go far at all because it hurt. Don't do it guys. It hurts as soon as the knife cuts through the skin and touches the flesh. Your nerve starts to scream pain.

This morning I woke up with no desire to get out of bed. No motivation to go to school. No motivation to go to work. I snoozed my alarm twice then the third time, I turned it off. As I was lying there, I had a thought that told me to get up. I was suddenly filled with energy. I got out of bed and knelt down next to it then prayed. I prayed for strength and a will to live.

Before I left my apartment this morning, I prayed to devote my life to God. I told Him that I would give Him my life and that I would serve Him.

I am here at work now. I had a marvelous day. I had fun. I learned a lot. Now, I get to serve others.

Related Posts
Bad Days and Good Days
A Part of Kyoo You Didn't Know

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Creativity for My Journal

I was reading my friend's mission blog when this caught my eye:
"When I'm not happy, or when I'm struggling emotionally, creativity just stops. I write less, create less. Happiness leads to a surge of creativity, and of ideas."
It is true. I do write less when I am not happy. I have no motivation to write. When I am happy, I write more. When I spend time with certain people, I definitely write more because it's interesting and I want to remember every part of that experience.

The person, who could make me write in my journal; who makes me want to remember every conversation and experience we had together; and who puts a smile on my face as I write in my journal, is the person who I want to be with. (Do semicolons go after "person" and "journal" or did I use them correctly?)

Related Post
O Remember Remember

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Still Hoping for the Future

You know that I write in my journal pretty regularly. For the most part, I do it for my future generations. Not long ago, I have said good-bye to them because I decided that I wasn't going to date anymore and lock my heart. I was tired of dating.

However, I can't help but think that I am going to have children. I have "seen" them. I have seen them few times. It sounds weird, I know. However, I have seen two of my children in the temple. I have seen four in a dream: two boys and two girls. Today, I saw a daughter.

I was making banana bread while listening to classical music on Pandora. I decided that it is one of my favorite things to do now. For some reason, it is so fitting to bake and listen to classical music. Anyways, while I was thinking about how awesome this experience was, I thought I saw myself teaching a girl how to bake as we listened to classical music. I knew it was my daughter and this is something that I would like to do.

I still do have hope to have children. There are so many things to do for and with them. I can't wait to raise my children "uprightly before the Lord."

Bad Days and Good Days

Recently, I feel like I have been having more bad days than good days. Friday was the worst I had in a long time. I was at work and I was thinking about everything that is not going right and started to worry about the future. Then it got so bad that I was in a verge of crying my eyes out in front of everyone in the library. I guess that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was how I wanted to disappear...meaning just wanted to not exist anymore. Different ways of disappearing came to my mind. (Yes, I am not saying killing myself because I just do not like the sound of that so I have changed to disappearing.)

How did I get through it? It was hard. I knew I had to get my mind off of things but it was just a bad day so anything I did didn't help much. It was even harder to study for a test that I was going to take on Saturday so I had to wrap it up early.

Sometimes I ask myself why I wouldn't just disappear. If things get so tough and everything seems so hopeless, why wouldn't I just give up? I don't have answer to that. Perhaps, there is something that's still pulling me back to the quality of life. Perhaps, there still is hope in this world. Perhaps, there still is something for me to do. I have no clue but I am still here.

This morning I studied about patience. Preach My Gospel says that "patience is the capacity to endure delay, trouble, opposition, or suffering. It is the ability to accept His timing. When you are patient, you are able to face adversity calmly and hopefully." I know I am being impatient and it causes me to lose hope and faith. Patience will help me stay on the right path a little bit longer. I know that in the end, I will "reap the rewards of [my] faith, and [my] diligence, and patience, and long-suffering." (Alma 32:43)

Related Post
A Part of Kyoo You Didn't Know

Friday, November 2, 2012

A Decision

I have been too obsessed about dating recently: just worrying about it and thinking way too much about it. I think about the future too much. So I made a big decision today: my future spouse is not here in Utah.

I told you before (or not) that I feel like Binghamton, NY is where I should be after I graduate. I feel like that is the place where I will meet my wife. I am not saying that I am not going to go on dates but I really don't think anything will happen even if I went on dates here.

I might be saying this to myself so I wouldn't worry about dating but I think this is the right thing to think about at this time.

So that's my decision. This helps me not take dating seriously but just have fun. At the same time, I won't worry about dating or about getting married. It will help me be patient.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

A Part of Kyoo You Didn't Know

I guess this is a bonus for some of you who follow my blog pretty regularly.

I decided to open myself up to you and tell you a secret. I feel like if you get on my blog to read what I write, you care about me.

You know how I want to emphasize in depression/suicide when I go to grad school, right? Do you know why? Perhaps, not because I don't really tell people why.

Some people asked me why some people commit or want to commit suicide. I tell them that it's because they just don't want to suffer. It could be true that many people don't see the point of living, but I feel like many people just want peace in their lives and want to stop suffering. I know what you think, 'if you have faith in Christ, you wouldn't commit suicide.' You would think that because you have not been there; you have not been in hell (obviously, this is relative). Even if you have a strong faith in God and Christ, you just want to end the suffering when it gets bad. You understand that you will not make it to the Celestial Kingdom. You understand that there is no forgiveness for killing yourself. You know that people who care about you will be sad to hear the news. However, ending your life seems better than what you are going through.

Now, you might ask how I know that. You probably have guessed by now. I have been there. I have felt exactly what I described above. Have I cut myself? Have I done anything to hurt myself? No. I have tried different things to kill myself though but obviously, they weren't good enough (I am kidding!).

Feeling depressed...sucks. I don't know how else to describe it. You literally feel like all the happiness is sucked out of you (Dementors?). You feel like you could never be happy. It really...sucks. You have no hope. You pray for guidance, faith, anything...but it feels like there is nothing that could make you happy. Your life seems meaningless. You feel meaningless. If you are by yourself, you feel lonely and feel like no one cares about you.

Sometimes, I wished I had some kind of an illness that would kill me soon. I wished I would get in a car accident. I thought about jumping off from the top of a building. I thought about taking tons of drugs. I thought about buying a ton of helium (I hear that's the most painless way to kill yourself). I thought about many things.

I am not saying this to make you feel bad for me. I am alive. I am still here. Thinking about them doesn't mean I am going to do them. There are things I do that help me cope with my weakness such as playing my guitar, singing, writing in my journal, and blogging. Honestly, anything that distracts me from feeling sorry for myself helps a lot.

I have faith in Christ. I am not going to kill myself...maybe.

What should you do if you meet someone who is depressed? Be there for them. They might not want to hang out with you but just invite them to do things with you or others. Keep them involved. Listen to them. Don't try to tell them that everything will be fine because they don't want to hear that or care to hear that. Just listen to them and tell them that you will be there for them when they need you. Being their friend is probably the best thing you can do for them.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Kyoo's Parenting 101

So in my Developmental Psychology: Adolescence class, we were talking about what parents could do to help their children not cheat in school. My idea for my kids were pretty great and I thought it would be funny to share with you all.

KYOO'S PARENTING 101
I am going to help my children with their school work but when they ask me for help, I am going to tell them, "You are Asian. You know this." Obviously, I will help them time to time but I am not going to help them all the time so that they would have to find out answers for themselves, but one way of helping them is that I am going to use stereotypes to make them believe that they are smart (it works many times, I promise). It's all about whether you believe in yourself or not and when someone believes that he/she can do something, he/she will be able to actually do it. You should read/watch this post (Fake It Till You Become It!).

Anyways, I think it's a good idea, don't you?

Monday, October 22, 2012

Why Some Receive Blessings

If you served a mission or are familiar with missionary work, you know that we promise blessings to investigators or people we teach. I heard a story on Sunday how this girl, an investigator, was promised so many blessings if she came to church on Sunday. As she started to come to church, all the blessings that were promised to her came.

My friend, J., who was sitting next to me asked me why he doesn't receive awesome blessings like the ones this investigator received. I realized that it's because we usually don't go to church expecting to receive blessings but to be taught. It's the same for all the commandments that we keep. Many times we forget to ask for blessings as we keep these commandments but we do it too casually. Do we not know that we can receive blessings from paying tithing? Windows of heaven will open (Malachi 3:10). If we were to think of blessings that we would like as we keep all the commandments, we will recognize those specific blessings.

I am not saying I do this but I want to. There are so many blessings that the Lord has promised me and I should continue to think about them as I pay tithing, attend all three church meetings, study the scriptures, pray, attend the temple, etc.

Blessings: Small and Simple


There are two types of blessings: profound and minuscule. Many times we look for blessings that are so profound that they will knock our shoes off; however, not all the blessings are like that.

Recently, I decided to give up all the blessings I had been promised. I was so done. I gave up everything. However, something remarkable happened. I thought this was my second chance. I wanted to give all to make it work. The past four days have been so marvelous. However, it wasn't supposed to last forever. I learned much from my past experience what I needed to do. I was stubborn so I didn't want to do it but I knew it was the right thing to do. It hurt. I hurt a lot. However, S. told me that I should think about all the blessings I had received and that I should give up on all the blessings that I will receive.

So today, I went to LDS.org to read some scriptures and the video was one of the first things I noticed. President Monson stated, "I have found that, rather than dwelling on the negative, if we will take a step back and consider the blessings in our lives, including seemingly small, sometimes overlooked blessings, we can find greater happiness." and then invited us to "take an inventory of [our lives] and look specifically for the blessings, large and small, [we] have received." What a tender mercy of the Lord! He knows me. He knows what I need. He is always mindful of my existence.

The biggest blessing I have received is obviously the gospel of Jesus Christ. Without it, I would not be here. I don't mean here in Utah or in the US. I mean I would not be alive if it weren't for it. I would have lost all my hope and I would have taken my life long time ago, but I am here because I know that I am supposed to do something amazing with my life. I have faith and hope that things will work out. The Lord will take me wherever He wants me to go.
"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin." -Matthew 6:28-
Related Posts 
Faith in God and in His Plans
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Monday, October 15, 2012

Fruit of the Spirit

"...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
"Meekness, temperance..." -Galatians 5:22-23-
Last night, I was outside my apartment thinking. I thought about my feelings and thoughts. My feelings were shame, depression, sadness, hopelessness, anger, etc. Nothing particularly good. I thought about why I was feeling them. I thought about giving up. Then I remembered something; I remembered that God does not want me to fail. He doesn't want anyone to fail but return to Him. He does not give us shame, depression, sadness, or hopelessness. He gives us joy, hope, peace, faith, etc. He wants us to know that He loves us! He is benevolent! Even if I make mistakes, He will cheer me up and lift me up! He will always put His arms around me and comfort me. I particularly love this scripture talking about the fruit of the Spirit:
"For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth" -Ephesians 5:9-
Instead of giving up and letting everything go, I should think about how I can help the Lord accomplish His goals and plans. I should think of ways to serve others.

Every time I feel the fruit of Satan, I want to shout out:
"Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul." -2 Nephi 4:28-

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Fake It Till You Become It



I love TED talks and this is such a powerful talk that will change your life (and your posture). A quote I really like from this is "Don't fake it till you make it; fake it till you become it."

Be Happy Where You Are At

I don't know if this is what you guys got out of General Conference that we just had, but as I listened to President Uchtdorf during the Saturday Morning session, I started to think about how I am always worried about what I am doing and where I am going.

I worry a lot. I sometimes forget to enjoy where I am because I am so focused on the future. The consequence of this is that I don't notice what I have because I want to make sure I am doing the "right thing" to ensure a great future. However, what I don't realize is that perhaps what I have now is exactly what I need in the future and that I need to be able to appreciate what the Lord has given me now.

If I don't take a certain opportunity now, will the Lord provide me with another chance with the same opportunity or will He bless me with a different opportunity? How could He trust me with another opportunity if I am not willing to accept whatever He has given me before? Could I make a promise to Him that I will not let go of another opportunity if He were willing to bless me with such? Perhaps, my chances are all gone and I have lost His trust.

So now I am trying to be happy with where I am and what I got. I might not have much but I am here. I am alive. I have the gospel. I have my family. I am graduating. I have work. I have a fully functioning body. I have wonderful friends. I am happy where I am now.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

My Family's Baptism

I share with you an experience of one of the missionaries who taught my family, Jeff Gardner. I asked him to write about my family's baptism in his perspective and he has sent it to me recently. I wanted to share it with all of you so that you know what it means to be a missionary and see the Lord's hand in His work.

September 23, 2012

The Kim Family experiences while on my mission

            I want start by sharing one of my experiences I have had while on my mission to Peoria Illinois Mission from 2001 to 2003. I have had many experiences that I have seen while serving the lord for 2 years. He has answered my prayers and have lead to people that have changed my life forever and who I love so much. I know the Lord loves each of them and has a personal care from them.
            While I was in the area of Macomb, Illinois my companion and I along with Brother Mueller were teaching the Lee Family the 2nd new member’s discussion. While we were talking Brother Lee said he talked to a friend about the church and said he would be interested in learning more. As the evening went they fed us “Kimche” which of course was very new to me. While they were serving the meal Brother Lee stood up and called Hong Sik Kim to set up an appointment for tomorrow night which was so great to witness. The next evening was what they call a missionaries dream and one of the most precious blessings from Heavenly Father to teach a family of four. I remember going with Brother Lee over to his friends to meet the Kim Family (Hong Sik, Seong Hee Park, Kyoo, Kwan). They were so kind to us and they had a great desire to learn and listen to us. We didn’t know Korean so Brother Lee translated for us. It was one of those experiences were we couldn’t hardly understand one another but the spirit I felt I can never forget. That night the Kim Family asked for the Book of Mormon in Korean and Brother Kim wanted to come to Church that next Sunday. I knew the lord prepared this family. I wrote in my journal that the lord blesses those after the trial of your faith.
            Hong Sik was such a kind man, bless his heart. We had our 2nd discussion and he came and picked us up. What investigator would pick you up to learn more about the Gospel of Jesus Christ? That does not happen too often. They are such are such happy people. I gained a great love for them.  It was great to see the Kim family have faith as they put their efforts into studying the scriptures and hear their prayers. It is of course fun to hear them say their prayers and read scriptures in Korean.  I count my blessings to have been able to teach them.  My personal testimony has grown each day because of their examples of faith as they joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was such a great time to see them set a date for baptism (March 31, 2002). I know they are each children of our Heavenly Father. I have felt so much joy in my life as I have seen the Kim’s grow in the Gospel. We have had so much help teaching the Kim’s. We had a member, Sister Jensen from Fort Madison Iowa, travel to teach the discussions each week with us. How blessed we were to have their help. I know every time we taught the Kim’s the discussions the spirit filled my heart.
One experience that I remember teaching the Kim family is a time when we just got done teaching his family one of the discussions, the spirit filled the room. As we departed to go home Hong Sik Kim offered to take us back to our apartment. Just as we were getting out of his car in is broken English he thanked us for teaching him and his family. It was such a highlight. I know the Lord has specific plans for each member of the Kim family. I love them. I know the Lord loves each of them individually. I know the Church is true. I know these experiences will remain with me beyond the veil and into the eternities. I hope that we will always be close to the Kim Family. I admire their faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I hope my children will see the value of missionary work and have experiences that will build their own testimonies on their own missions.
On March 31, 2002 Easter Day the Kim family became members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  It was fast and testimony meeting and the Kim family was sitting behind us in sacrament meeting while Brother Shawn Mueller got up and bore his testimony.  I looked behind me to look at the Kim Family and saw that Sister Seong Hee Park had tears in her eyes. I know she felt the spirit from our Heavenly Father. That experience helped me to feel the spirit. It was one of those moments that I can’t explain but what I do know it was very touching.  The members of the Macomb ward were so helpful and showed such great love and embraced the Kim family. It helped them see the gospel in action and feel the Saviors love.  That evening the Kim Family was baptized. The members sang “I am a Child of God”  in English then in Korean,  then Brother Lee gave a talk on baptism and Sister Jenson gave a talk on the Holy Ghost. I had the wonderful opportunity to baptize Brother Hong Sik Kim and Hyung Koo Kim. Elder Dale baptized Sister Seong Hee Park and Hyung Kwan Kim. What a day I will never forget. The lord was so merciful in allowing me to be a part of the Kim family baptism and be a part of each of their lives. I hope I will always be in touch with them. I know shortly after they were baptized they got involved with church callings and it was fun to see the Kyoo and Kwan get involved with the youth and church activities.  As years pass the Kim Family received the most precious gift from Heavenly Father, getting their endowments out and getting sealed with their family in the temple. As this missionary experience continue to grows, Kwan and Kyoo received mission calls one to California and the other to New York. What example they are to me. They will be great examples to my children. I know the lord loves them individually and is aware of their needs and desires. I know that Heavenly Father will bless them for their faith each day. I love them so much. I know this is the only way to receive complete happiness for our families.  I have a testimony of the Savior and the Atonement and that if we repent we can be forgiven if we keep his commandments by following our living prophet.

Jeff Gardner

Sister Jensen on the far left. Jeff on the far right.



Friday, October 5, 2012

Disorganized Thoughts

If you saw labels for this post, you can definitely tell that I have a lot to say. However, they all might be one-liners.

Let's start following the order of labels.

Dating
I had to re-evaluate my life and figure out few things out. I made some new commitments and learned something that I have never thought/realized before. One thing I can say here is that I need to find myself a best friend. I don't know if I mentioned this before (I feel like I have) but I don't have a best friend. I have great friends but I don't have anyone whom I can just go to (and who is always available to listen to me). I want someone whom I can talk to about everything and who wouldn't mind listening to me complaining. There are few other things I realized but I can't share them here.

Family
My brother is getting married on Dec. 15th. YAY! I am so happy for him and Lia! I can't wait to go to Macomb this December for the first time in almost 4 years.

General Conference
I am really excited for General Conference because I know I will be able to receive so many inspirations that I need at this time. I will have to take a test between Saturday morning and afternoon sessions but it will be great to hear the words of prophets, seers and revelaters.

Food
I made these for work and they were all right. I think they could have been better if I were better at baking cookies. Trial #2 will shortly happen.

Gospel
I am so humbled that the Lord is always very mindful of me and is willing to help me when I need Him. The Savior is my best friend whom I can always go to and talk about everything.

School
I know I skipped life but everything I am talking about is life. I found out that grad school applications are due in two months which means I need to start preparing to apply. I also have a test tomorrow that I have to take and two in-class tests next Thursday. CRAZY!
Oh, I also get to teach Writing Within Psychology class next Monday. I am so excited and nervous.

Monday, October 1, 2012

I Must Write; I Must Tell

It's been forever since the last time I have written. A lot of things happened.

I don't know if I can explain anything here. I don't know if I can say anything without recalling memories that made me laugh, smile, happy, sing, dance, sad, cry, etc. I have grown up. I had to grow up. I had to learn from all my experiences so that I would never ever hurt anybody again.

It hurts to see someone get hurt. It hurts even more when you cry more than the person you have just hurt. It hurts once more when you see your friend who's hurt the same and tells you how she's feeling and you realize that that's exactly how the person you hurt must be feeling. It crumbles you inside because all you can say is "I am sorry."

I had to re-evaluate my life and make some changes. I hope I have grown up. I hope I will never hurt anyone else again.

I am grateful that General Conference is just around the corner. I will be able to learn few things that will help me become a better person so that I can care for others, serve others, brings others to Christ, and make them smile. I want to set aside the natural man that I have to make choices that are pleasing to God. I want to be a better friend to those who already are amazing friends to me.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Faith in God and in His Plans

Yesterday was amazing! I felt like the topic of all three meetings at church was faith. And then after church, I was reading Look Up, My Soul and obviously, it also talked about faith. So this post is about what I learned yesterday and this morning.

Faith and hope definitely go together: "if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true." The way I see it, faith is action and hope is your motivation/eternal perspective. If you have faith but no hope, you are merely doing repeating the same thing over and over again with no purpose. If you have hope but no faith, you are merely wishing. You have to have both (holistic monism anyone?).

This morning I was studying Preach My Gospel about faith, and one of the scriptures that I needed today was Mosiah 4:10 which says:
"Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend."
I had been kind of afraid of things that were happening around me, not because they are bad things but, because good things are happening so fast. I have never experienced so many blessings and miracles happen around me so fast. Even in Sunday school, a teacher asked us if we had trials in our lives right now and I couldn't think of anything. My life is so good! I am not saying that in a prideful way but in a very surprised way. And this scares me.

However, when I read that verse in Mosiah, I realized that I may not understand why things happen around me but God does. He has "all wisdom" and comprehends everything, even things that are happening around me. I do have faith in Him which means I need to trust Him and take every opportunity that He has laid out for me.

I had to remind myself again today to "consider the lilies of the field."

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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I Work at a Zoo Called "Library" Part 21

This is a chat I received.

Patron: I am trying to find out what 76.5a.3 sexual exploitation of a minor- actually means, in terms I understand. We just had a neighbor put on the sex offender list and I'm not sure where to look.
Me: I believe the number in the front means just "sexual exploitation of a minor" in Utah.
Me: So basically, it means what it says.
Me: If you don't understand what "sexual exploitation" means, I recommend searching Google for meaning of sexual exploitation. I just don't feel comfortable describing what it means.
Patron: Do you know where I could look up court records, or how to find that information?
Me: Honestly, I am not sure if they would publicize court records, so I don't know how to look that up.
Patron: So when you need to look up a recent case, do the students there go to the county courthouse, or where do you send them
Me: I actually never had anyone ask for cases but I would probably send them to a court or to the Law Library that we have here. They would be able to help them better.
Me: http://lawlib.byu.edu/ This is their website. I don't think they have a chat service like we do.
Patron: oh, I thought I was at the law library- thanks for your help!!!!

I think the patron was also creepy.
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So there is this elderly white haired Asian (Japanese) lady who comes to the library very often. She usually comes to the library to do some research and then prints out a ton of pages. She does some weird things like opening up the printer trays to smell papers before printing but this time it was a little bit weirder.

I was working at the desk when she came by. She walked to the desk as she stared at me then stretched out her head to see what I was doing on the computer. I was just reading some CNN articles so I wasn't doing anything fun or weird. After she saw what I was doing, she just walked back to her computer without saying a word.
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Usually the beginning of every semester, we get basic questions about library services from patrons. That is not a big deal; however, freshmen have to take this library tour quiz after they take a tour of the library. Some times we get chats asking some basic questions but you can definitely tell after few questions that these are part of library tour questions.

Patron: What is the undergraduate check out perioud?
Patron: *period
Me: It's three weeks.
Patron: Where would I go to find an atlas of France?
Me: Down in Science/Map on the second floor.
Patron: Where should I go to find a newspaper about the day Abraham Lincoln was born?
Me: It seems that you are taking a quiz.
Me: If I help you with your quiz, it would be against the Honor Code.
Me: Are you taking a quiz?
(No answer)