Being a Writer

I love what this says. I don't write all the time but there have been months when I had a lot to write about. When I start writing a post but feel like I won't have a lot to say, I don't finish it at all because there is no point trying to come up with things to say when I got nothing to say.

This is also true that people don't think that you are "legit" if it's on the Internet. I am a writer even if I only write blog posts.

Images from theoatmeal.com

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Being Alone?

I am reading a book called "The Infinite Atonement" by Tad R. Callister. I got it for Christmas from the Callisters.

I realized something profound from this book. Elder Callister remarks, "One wonders about [Christ's] emerging godhood, as he grew from infancy to boyhood, and boyhood to manhood. What were his feelings? What was it like to be a God among mortals  With whom did he discuss his burdens? ...none was his intellectual and spiritual equal. None could see and feel and understand as he saw and felt and understood."

We always complain about how there is no one who understands how we feel. However, we have our friends who can comfort us because they could go through what we go through. Also, the Savior who completely understands how we feel and what we are going through because He suffered them all to "succor" us. On the other hand, when He was on this earth, who could understand Him? His disciples could never understand what He thought and felt because they were mortals. They could never understand what He was about to go through and couldn't comfort Him. Christ knew way more than anyone and could not have discussions with them because His knowledge surpassed everyone else's.

Do you feel lonely? How do you think Christ must have felt? He could have been lonelier than anyone but He endured and served everyone. We do not even think about Him being lonely because He didn't show it. He did suffer it all that we might not suffer.

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How I Met Your Mother

This is not depressing at all. This is not necessarily about dating, friends, family, gospel, philosophy, life, or mission. This post has little bits of each.

I have been watching a show called "How I Met Your Mother." It's not super hilarious nor always appropriate. However, the reason why I like the show is the thought provoking quotes and how much I can relate to Ted Mosby, the main character. In the show, Ted is telling his kids how he met his wife. The past Ted is always looking for "the one." However, the future Ted always reminds his kids that all the stories/events that he tell them somehow lead up to how he met his wife.

(I will come back to the show in a little bit) Yesterday, I went to Panda Express and got a fortune which said, "A sudden change in plans will lead to good fortune." It was very fitting because I had made a decision about something and felt like that is the way it's supposed to be. OK, it's about asking someone on a date but I decided not to (and I am glad I decided not to).

The fortune I got was like the show "How I Met Your Mother" because the whole show is about how different events that Ted goes through somehow lead to meeting his wife. I believe that this is true for me and for others as well. We are constantly choosing, changing, and going through life with different events. Whatever decision we make prepares us for the moment when we meet our spouse or even anyone in our lives whom we will impact one way or another.

All the experiences I had, whether be good or bad, lead me to that moment when I will meet my future wife. The moment that I am waiting for. When that time comes, I will be prepared to meet her, talk to her, and get to know her. (Does that mean I believe that there is "the one"?) Or I will be prepared to choose who that person will be as I meet many girls, talk to them, and get to know them then we will start to trust each other, respect each other, and honor each other. Eventually, we will develop love for each other.

In other posts, I wrote about how we need to prepare to serve others. You can't go back in time to change things but you can always change the past right now. If you made a mistake in the past, choose to become a better person through your mistakes. You don't need to go back in time to correct your mistakes but choose now to do what is right. Don't make the same mistake again. Always choose looking forward in the future. Prepare now. Prepare for the first moment when you will meet your spouse. Prepare to serve others when God calls you to serve.

"Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?
"Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson—
"That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.
"Hence many are called, but few are chosen." -Doctrine and Covenants 121:34-35, 37, & 40-

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Wedding, Graduation, Adventures

My mom and I arrived at Nauvoo around 3 on Friday (12/14) and thought that we will have to hang out until 5:30 but we ran into a friend, J., who informed me that Lia's endowment session is at 4 not 2:30. So we got to do an endowment session with Lia who was so surprised when she saw us in the Creation room. She was so happy that we were able to make it to her endowment session.

The sealing ceremony was so fantastic. The entire time, I was thinking about how this new family is going to be together for eternity. Even if my family (my parents and us) will not be together forever, Kwan and Lia will be and I was so ahppy for them. They will be all right. :)

Saturday was Kwan's graduation.

My brother's wedding was in the morning then in the afternoon, I went to my friend, C.'s wedding with A. We all grew up together in Macomb ward but we weren't able to hang out for a while. Also, C. stopped coming to church but we are still friends and love him.

Around 4, I went over to the church building to set things up for the reception. After setting things up, I wandered around and got to the chapel where I felt so much at home. I almost cried because this is where everything started. This is where I learned the gospel. Is this what it would feel like to return to Heavenly Father?

At 5:30, there was a baptism which made me think of my own baptism in Macomb almost 11 years ago. This really is my home and everyone in Macomb is my family.

The reception was so amazing. the food was so good! Sister T. prepared so much food and had a ton of leftover. The center piece that Lia made were really cute too. She had different items that represent the number of years Kwan and Lia have known each other, years they dated, months that they had been engaged, etc. Super cute! :) The entire time, though, I followed them around and took pictures of them with guests.

Sunday was so awesome because I got to see all the familiar faces! These are they who encouraged me, taught me, and led me to become who I am now. I will always be in debt to them. Many complimented (?) me saying, "You look so different!" Thanks...I guess? They are used to seeing me with a long hair. I told Sister A. White that it's the suit. :) In a serious note, I am different because I have changed over the years and many things have changed me for good.

A detour

On Monday, my mom and I flew out to the Denver airport. Both of our flights got delayed but mine eventually got cancelled so I had to go to an information center to figure out what was going on. While I was waiting in line, I started talking to a girl behind me. It turns out that she was going into the MTC the next day and going to Washington D.C. on her mission. Her name was Evelin from Estonia but spoke perfect English.

The hotel room

My dinner

The airline put us in 11:30 am flight the next morning and gave us some vouchers to stay at a hotel and for free meals. Even though my mom's flight was going to leave in an hour and half, I decided to help Evelin with her travel so I said good-bye to my mom then Evelin and I rode a shuttle to the hotel where we had dinner together and then breakfast together the next morning.

On Tuesday, I finally arrived at SLC and got my luggage that arrived the night before. I said good-bye and good luck to Evelin and we went our separate ways.

What an adventure!

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My Photoshop Skills

I have been using Photoshop for a while to work on my brother's pictures (soon to be posted). While I was working on them, my friend asked me to do a little project for him which is the following.













I used these two pictures (above) to create the final picture (below) for my friend.

This is a little different technique than the magic wand tool and I kind of like this a lot more than using the magic wand tool which can be very meticulous.

If any of you want me to do something like this (during the break), let me know. I would love to do it since I got plenty of free time.

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Dear Future Wife,

I don't know who you are...

But I bet you are beautiful...

You wouldn't need to change a thing at all...

I would do anything for you...

When the time is right...

Until we meet...

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I Work at a Zoo Called "Library" Part 22

Last Tuesday night, I was working 'till 2 am. My friend J. came by to talk and as I was talking to him, I saw this guy who was using one of the library computers near the help desk. Some of the images looked very questionable but I couldn't tell clearly what he was looking at, so I asked J. to check it out. When J. came back, he informed me that the guy was definitely looking at some inappropriate pictures of guys (dudes, males, men) so I went and verified it then called the security.

As the security came to the desk, this guy stood up and left his computer. One of them followed after him but lost him somehow. While the search was going on, another security and I figured out this guy's name with which they found a picture of him on Facebook to put it on security desk monitors just in case if he tries to escape.

Later BYU police came, got on this guy's computer and took some pictures as evidence. They asked for my info and my witness statement also. They finally caught him and I don't know what happened to the guy.

____________________________________________________________________________________
After I helped a patron on a chat, she sent another message about a minute later.
Patron: are you the one sitting at the help desk?
Me: Yes, I am.
Patron: turn around :)

So I turned around and saw a group of people waving at me.

Me: (on the chat) Oh, hi.
Patron: LOL. gotta keep u awake! don't want u sleeping on the job.haha
Me: Thanks. :)

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Hope Revisited

Once again from Look Up, My Soul (I am re-reading it), Elder Lund focused on these points.

• Hope is reminding myself that despair is not an inherent part of the challenge.
• Hope is counting blessings rather than cursing circumstances.
• Hope is saying, "I do not ask to see the distant scene--one step enough for me.
• Hope is a beckoning light when "despair distills upon us a the dews from heaven."
• Hope can "stabilize our lives regardless of the rough or uneven surfaces we might encounter at the time."
• At times, hope can lighten the load; other times, it strengthens the bridges.

I am not going to explain what they mean to me but I want you to ponder how they apply to you.

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My Life Is Not Mine

I talked to one of my friends who is going through really hard time. The funny thing is that I can relate to him with everything he's going through.

He has expectations of himself. He is a smart guy so he wants to get all A's. He wants to be successful like his siblings. He wants to have a girl friend and get married. However, these aren't exactly being realized.

As I was talking to him, he told me what he wants in his life (those expectations) then I asked him how God plays in those. He thought about it for a little while and told me that he didn't know.

He was a great missionary. He loved his mission. He was obedient and successful. He was happy. Then he came back from his mission and everything just fell apart. Nothing was going for him.

Now I want to share with you what I told him. We focus on others and their welfare on our mission. We knock on doors, street contact, teach, walk, bike, etc day and night, rainy or sunny, and what not. Why? Because we didn't care about ourselves but God's children. We wanted them to receive the fullness of the gospel. We were happy when they accepted the gospel. We rejoiced when we saw them enter into the waters of baptism. We cried when we saw them as they were sealed as an eternal family. We cared more about others than ourselves.

Then we come back to the "real" world where it tells us that we have to win. We have to worry about ourselves. We have to be competitive. "Dig a pit for thy neighbor." Is this why we are getting education? Is this why we get married? Is this why prophets tell us to get knowledge and have a family?

My patriarchal blessing advises me to get education, enjoy good health, get married, etc to serve others. Our mission doesn't have to end when we take off our name tag for the last time. We do not have to stop being missionaries. We are missionaries. We always have been missionaries. Our goal (even the mission of the Church) is to serve others. The city of Zion was not established by one person, but by many.

"Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
"This is the first and great commandment.
"And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." -Matthew 22:36-39-

The second greatest commandment is not to love ourselves but to love our neighbors. All the commandments  follow those two first commandments. You pick a commandment out of everything. Is it really for you or is it really about others? How does that change your perspective of that commandment?

Hence the title: my life is not mine. It's ours.

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