Just Generalize It

"With regard to whatever objects give you delight, are useful, or are deeply loved, remember to tell yourself of what general nature they are, beginning from the most insignificant things. If, for example, you are fond of a specific ceramic cup, remind yourself that it is only ceramic cups in general of which you are fond. Then, if it breaks, you will not be disturbed. If you kiss your child, or your wife, say that you only kiss things which are human, and thus you will not be disturbed if either of them dies." -From The Enchiridion by Epictetus-

So basically what he's saying is that if we generalize everything, we wouldn't get hurt when we lose it because there are plenty more to go around.

Are you kidding me? I was so mad when I read this. "If you kiss your child, or your wife, say that you only kiss things which are human, and thus you will not be disturbed if either of them dies"? What kind of a person doesn't get "disturbed" when there loved one dies? Who goes around and think, "Oh well, my three-year-old son is dead but there are plenty more people whom I could kiss so it's no big deal"? Being a human is having feelings whether they be good or bad. We experience them both to have joy AND sorrow. Why would you not want to experience sadness? Yes, it hurts but do you think Christ would have been full of joy if he hadn't suffered all?

Also, why would we ever want to generalize anything? You value a ceramic cup because there's a special meaning to you. You love your family because you love them and there's no one else like them. They are special in a way that there's only one of them. When it's gone, you lose it forever and it's impossible to have the same feeling for that object or for that person. Would you ever tell your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/children/parents that you love him/her because they are humans? You love them as you love your next door neighbor? If you cared about your spouse the way you care about everybody else, it would have been dang hard to choose who to marry because you care about everybody exactly the same.

I am sorry I am babbling on about this but this idiot named Epictetus made me pretty mad, and I thought I needed to disagree with his philosophy.