Forgiving Others

What does it feel like to forgive someone? I feel like there are people I have forgiven but still have bad feelings towards them whenever I think about them and I see them. Does that mean I have not forgiven them? What about not wanting to see them ever again? Did I truly forgive them?

“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.” (With Suzanne Simon, Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Get On with Your Life (1990), 19.)

No, I still haven't forgiven them. How can I truly forgive them?

"We are all prone to brood on the evil done us. That brooding becomes as a gnawing and destructive canker. Is there a virtue more in need of application in our time than the virtue of forgiving and forgetting? " -President Hinckley-

Since I still have that this feeling of hatred and I don't ever want to see them or talk to them, I haven't truly forgiven them. I don't want that feeling of hatred to reside in me. It doesn't make me feel good and it definitely doesn't help me be virtuous. President Hinckley said in the same talk as the quote above that it won't be easy and it will take time to forgive the person but if I really seek it and am willing to forgive that person, I will find peace.

"My brothers and sisters, let us bind up the wounds—oh, the many wounds that have been caused by cutting words, by stubbornly cultivated grievances, by scheming plans to “get even” with those who may have wronged us. We all have a little of this spirit of revenge in us. Fortunately, we all have the power to rise above it, if we will “clothe [ourselves] with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.” (D&C 88:125.)

"There is peace only in repentance and forgiveness. This is the sweet peace of the Christ, who said, “blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” (Matt. 5:9.)" -President Hinckley-

"(2) As people forgive each other, they treat one another with Christlike love and have no bad feelings toward those who have offended them" -The Guide to the Scriptures-

Have charity for everyone. I have to remember that everyone is a child of God and God loves them as much as He loves me. I can't hold grudge or have hatred toward them. I must forgive them with Christ's love. I also have to find peace in my life through forgiving others.

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More

Update on My Life

I have found a new love for Secret Garden. Many of their songs are used in movies, TV shows, etc. They are so relaxed and remind me of...a hut in a forest. It reminds me of a peaceful lake surrounded by tall trees as the light shines through the leaves. Basically, it reminds of nature. It's a good music to calm my soul.

A great news! Beau found a duplex that is rent-to-own. He is going to get a contract for it then he's going to rent it out to his friends. On the main floor, Beau, Jacob, and I are going to live there. Jacob and I will share a room. In the basement, he is going to have one shared-room and two single rooms. I will be paying him $250 flat which is the same as where I am staying at right now, Brownstone. It's about the same distance to campus as from Brownstone and it has great parking spaces. It's going to be awesome! I am so excited!

I got a car about few weeks ago with my own money! It's a 2001 Nissan Sentra. I just need to get emission and safety tests done then I will be done with everything. I also bought a new stereo system for it and installed it all on my own. It was pretty easier than I thought.

Last Saturday, I went to my friend's wedding. Congrats to Ian Jones and April Lindgren! I have never been to an actual wedding/sealing before so it was an amazing experience for me. Also, it was the first time being a groomsman. I loved the sealing ceremony because 1. I was the only Asian there, 2. I was so stoked to get married in the temple and 3. the sealer was the father-in-law of my bishop in Illinois. I met him few times before and he used to be Nauvoo Temple president so he talked to me before I got my Endowment at the Nauvoo Temple. That was really cool. Now, I can't wait to get married in the temple, but first, I need to find someone who would actually marry me.

My brother decided not to go to Sacramento with me where our parents are at. Why? I have no clue. He wouldn't tell me. I was hoping that we could drive together so I wouldn't have to drive the whole time but I guess I am going to. We talked about how he's going to get here and when he's going to come and go back and stuff but it's not going to work out as I planned. (When did it ever work out as I planned?)

Whitelines

For those of you who might be wondering (no one), I bought a new journal for my 8th journal. It's this one ---> It's not perfect but I can never find anything that's perfect. I wish college-ruled lines were smaller. Squared lines are too small. There were only a few journals without any lines but they are way weird looking. I decided to try this one out to see how I like white lines instead of black. It's basically has gray colored papers with white lines instead of white colored papers with black lines. I only got less than 15 pages left on my old one and once it's filled this new journal will be ready to rock my world. :)

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More

Just Because

Guess what? I changed the design of my blog! Why? Just because.

I got a call from a patron who is having trouble with her thesis. She called three times already and the third time she called, she said "This is your favorite person again." I thought that was pretty funny. Why? Just because.

Such a perfect picture for this post

I just saw that it started raining again. Why? Just because.

Reading people's blogs put a smile on my face. Why? Just because.

I feel pretty good about myself. Why? Just because.

I can't wait until the Fall semester starts. Why? Just because.

I am watching people at their computers or walking by. Why? Just because.

I think that one girl was in my freshman ward but I don't talk to her. Why? Just because.

I am yawning like crazy. Why? Because Emilio texted me five thousand times two in the morning!

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More

"Whose?"

This is an excerpt from Song of Myself by Walt Whitman.

"A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any
    more than he.

I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green

Nauvoo Temple Handkerchief

    stuff woven.

Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner's name someway in the corners, that we may
    see and remark, and say Whose?"

I love Walt Whitman's poems. It's pretty calm and makes you think about life. This poem Song of Myself has some of the gospel truths or things I believe in.
The whole point of this blog is to help us think. Think about what this poem means to you. Everyday we see God's "handkerchief" but yet, we fail to recognize it. If you didn't know, back in the day, people put their names on their handkerchiefs. In the case of this poem, it's like a person picking up someone's handkerchief with his/her name engraved on it but the person doesn't know who it belongs to.
God's "handkerchiefs" are all around us. We experience and see them every moment. What are some of them in my life today?

1. Music
2. Weather
3. My hands (to type this)
4. My eyes (to see)(That reminded me of a Primary song: My Heavenly Father Loves Me. Simple, yet powerful.)
5. My friends

Of course, there are more but I want you to think about what God has given you. How much He loves you. Appreciate the things that you didn't appreciate before. Recognize the blessings that you didn't recognize before. What are some of the "handkerchiefs" you saw today?

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More

Obsessions

Everybody has something they are obsessed about. These are few of mine.

1. Pens

Since I started writing in my journal in high school. I've been searching for a perfect pen to write with. I think it changes every time I buy a new journal, but right now, it's Zebra. I love really fine pens and those that don't smear all over my journal. I hate inks that stain the paper when it gets wet. Even though Zebra is .7 mm, it writes like .5 mm and it writes really smoothly. If you have any recommendations on pens, let me know.

Tree of Life journal

2. Journals

I would like my journals to last centuries if not decades. I want my posterity to have my journals and read them to learn about me. I always look for good, sturdy, hard-cover journals and sometimes it's not easy. I've used many different kinds: small size, squishy cover, magnetized cover, ring bound, etc. The requirements to be my journal are a solid hard cover, college lined or without any lines, a cool design, not ring bound, and medium sized. I am almost done with the one I have right now so I have to go journal shopping very soon. I've checked out some at the BYU bookstore but really cool ones are super expensive. I might have to downgrade myself for cheaper ones.

3. Shoes/footwear
Don't make fun of me that I am obsessed with shoes because I am a guy. My seminary teacher had more shoes than his wife because he wore different shoes for different occasions. He was also a triathlon runner so he had different shoes for different races. Every since my mission, that became my goal. No! Not triathlon! I would die training for it. I meant having shoes for ever different occasion. So far I have seven pairs of shoes/footwear. Also, I wear different shoes for different pants. Some pants don't look good with some shoes.

4. Music

Head Automatica

My life would be meaningless if I didn't have music. I enjoy listening to the music. The only genre I don't listen to is Country. I just can't handle it. I am sorry those who love country music. I think other than that I listen to every kind: classical, metal, indie, rap, alternative rock, broadway musical, etc. Having said that, this doesn't mean that I have every genre of music on my computer. Mostly, I have alternative rock music like Head Automatica, Cartel, Rufio, and Motion City Soundtrack. (If you don't know any of them, I also got Owl City, Metro Station, Death Cab for Cutie, and so on.) I just have to have new CD's by my favorite bands and I look for new bands to listen to. I usually use last.fm website to find any bands similar to the ones I like.

So CUTE! Not for my hair though.

5. Hair
I love my hair. I hate getting haircuts. Those two sentences should sum it up...not really. I guess it's not an obsession but I rather grow my hair out than get a haircut. First, I don't like having short hair because I have Asian hair meaning that when it's short, everything sticks out like a hedgehog (Hedgehog's spines are like my short hair on steroid.) so I have to buy a hair product like putty or glue to do something with my hair. (Cons: Waste of time and of money) Therefore, I prefer longer hair but BYU wouldn't let me do that either. Right now, I am getting away with it but if my supervisor sees it, I am doomed...or will have to get a haircut. (NOOOOOO!!!!) I think the best length for my hair would be this. Sides: Hair covers my ear slightly. Back: The same length as the sides' Front: Hair comes down right below my eyebrows.

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More

Being an Asian Is Like This

This is from notalwaysright.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------

(I am sitting in a laundromat, waiting for my laundry. An irate customer approaches me while I am reading a book.)

Customer: “Can you help?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Can you help me with this machine? I don’t think it’s working properly.”

Me: “I can take a look, but I don’t know too much about these things.”

Customer: *exasperated* “How is it that you don’t know how these machines work? What kind of lazy employee are you? You just sit here reading a book when customers are struggling?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to do my laundry like you are.”

Customer: “This is the worst experience I’ve ever had here! Where are your parents? I need to complain to them.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m 25 years old and my Korean parents live in New Jersey. There is a nice Chinese family that owns this business. They might be able to help you better than I can.”

Customer: “But don’t you all know how to fix these things?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel like I experience this everyday. People come up to me expecting me to know everything because I am Asian. Dude, there are dumb Asians out there too. Not that I am one of them...

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More

I Work at a Zoo Called "Library" Part 2

This is a call I got some time ago.

Guy: "Hey, what time does the library open today?"

Me:  (Thinking he was asking when we close since I answered the phone, it's obvious that we are open.) "We close at midnight."

Guy: "But what time does the library open?"

Me: (Dumbfounded) "...We are open right now."

Guy: "Oh, you are? Cool."

Me: "Yea..."

Guy: "...Bye."

I love it when the patrons come to the desk and complain that their card doesn't work. These are the reason why their cards don't work.

1. Their cards are all scratched up.

This rarely occurs but it happens. They are too cheap to go get a new card and keeps coming back to us to print for them. I wish there were a policy against us printing out for them for not getting a new card.

2. They keep swiping the wrong side of the card.

Simple "turn your card" will solve the problem. I sometimes hope they feel really stupid for not realizing that.

3. They sent print jobs from their laptop without downloading Pharos.

What did you think would happen? Just print them for free? It's not your printer at home.

4. (This is my favorite.) "Wrong card, buddy!"

You would think if you are in college, you can tell the difference between a college ID card and a debit card. Some don't have a clue. They come to the desk complaining that their card doesn't work. I take their card to see if it would work on the WorkFlows then I realize that it's their debit card. For this incident, I don't even hope they feel stupid because I know they feel stupid.

Related Blog

I Work At a Zoo Called "Library"

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More

"I Wasn't Born Here!"

There are so many things I think are weird in the US. Things people say and do.

It says "Don't listen to Satan." Drawn by Joshua Loveless

One of them is the use of "hell." Don't get offended now; let me explain first. If we are reading it from scriptures, it's OK to say it. If we are saying it in vain, then it's not OK. Now, think about taking God's name or Christ's name in vain. It's definitely not OK to use them because their names are sacred. We would never do that. What about saying "Satan" in vain? Is that OK? The scriptures don't say anything about that. What about saying "What the heaven!" Is that OK? We say "Good heavens!" or something like that. Then my question is why is it not OK to say "what the h***"? Why is that wrong? Hell is definitely not sacred. (Dear readers, I understand that it's a cultural and social standard thingy whatever. I am just saying how I view it as an outsider.)

This would be my breakfast everyday if I had money

Another thing is that people FREAK OUT if you have a huge meal for breakfast. Actually, if it's anything other than cereal, toast, or any "traditional" breakfast, people freak out. I can't even have ramen for breakfast without my roommates looking at me funny. Last Sunday, I was making ramen for lunch actually. I have church at 1 pm so I was making it around 12. They were all like, "Are you having ramen for breakfast? That's weird!" Dude, I got up at 9 and already had breakfast. Just because you lazy bums woke up like 10 minutes ago doesn't mean everybody else is having breakfast that time. I don't understand how we learn that the breakfast is the most important meal of the day because it helps our brain function in the morning but whenever I try to eat something heavier than cereal or a piece of toast, people freak out. Shouldn't you have whatever you eat for dinner as breakfast and breakfast for dinner? You are not supposed to eat like 4 hours or something before you go to bed so cereal, a piece of toast, or fruit would be perfect for dinner.

It doesn't make whole lot of sense why people do and think this way but what do I know? I wasn't born here.

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More

I Work at a Zoo Called "Library"

This lady (I call her "lady" because she's in her 30's) came up to me because she couldn't log into a computer. I met her once before and she had a brain damage or got a surgery or something, so she's is a little...interesting. Bless her heart.

Lady: I can't log into my computer. Is there a way to check my information?

Me: OK. Let's see here.

(I go to the BYU website and try to figure out her Net ID)

Me: OK. Just fill this information.

(Few seconds later the website shows her Net ID.)

Me: That's your Net ID.

Lady: Thank you.

(Few seconds later, she comes back.)

Lady: It still doesn't work. It happens every time I try to use a computer.

Me: OK. Let me go and check with you.

(When we get there, I make sure it's standard-local server which it is.)

Me: Try logging in again.

Lady: (As she types in her full name for Net ID) So do I put my name here?

Me: No, you have to put your Net ID. You know, the one we just found.

Lady: Oh, OK. (She puts in her Net ID.) What do I put for password?

Me: (I stumble on my words because I don't know how to describe "password.") It's...it's your password. The secure words... Your password... (I am more lost than her.)

Lady: OK. (She types in her password but it doesn't work. She tries few different ones but still nothing.)

Me: OK. Let's go back to my computer and try to find your password.

(We walk back to the desk and I get on the Route Y to find her password. We work things out and her password gets sent to her email address.)

Me: Here, log into your email account.

(At this point, the Gmail page is in Spanish because I just logged out of my account which is in Spanish)

Lady: Do I put this in Spanish?

Me: Your password? No, you put your password in English. (I try to lower my level to hers.)

Lady: Oh, I wasn't sure because it's all in Spanish.

Me: No, it doesn't matter. Just put your Gmail address and password.

Lady: Oh, I need to put my email address? (She realizes that it's for Gmail, not BYU.)

Me: Yes.

(She gets an email from BYU with her temporary password. We try it but it doesn't work. We try several times but it doesn't let her log in.)

Lady: This happens all the time. So I guess that's all you can do.

Me: Yeah, sorry. You can call this number to get help. (I give her a number to OIT.)

I helped this lady once before. She was trying to apply to be a visiting student here and was using a computer to apply. She didn't know her password to get onto Route Y so I helped her find it. Then I had to help her figure out how to apply to BYU and then I had to assure her that it doesn't matter if her permanent and mailing addresses are different. I am pretty sure I wrote about that in my journal. If I find it, I will post it.

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More

To be Normal or Not to be Part 2

This is a very inspiring video for me because it goes along with one of my philosophy that everybody is crazy. Before you watch this video, I want you to ask yourself this question: "What is normal?"

 

People try to label each other and if a person doesn't fit in a category of what people call "normal," they are labeled as "crazy." Who determines what "normal" is?

I hate bell curves or normal curves. You know, this. Because if people don't fit in the middle part of the curve, they are not normal. Heck, if that's how people view it, I rather be in one of the ends. Why do I want to be normal? Why do I want to be like everybody else? I am not even like everybody else; I am a Korean. I am not white, black, or Hispanic. I am different. God made me the way I am with unique characteristics. I don't have to act like everybody. If you call me crazy, I will thank you.

Below is the first one about this philosophy.
To Be Normal Or Not To Be

Posted by Q K 0 comments

Read More