Dream, Rain, Song

This morning I woke up feeling kind of sad and depressed; I had a dream that bothered my peace. I don't remember exactly what I dreamt but I remember crying and being very upset about something. How could emotions from a dream carry over to the real life? I can't answer that even though I am a (future) Psychologist.

Basically, the day didn't start out the way I would like it to but I tried to cheer myself up. I tried watching Mormon Message videos such as this one: 

and read the Book of Mormon. Unfortunately, it helped only a little.

Then I heard raindrops outside as I was getting read to go to work. It was still dark out and I couldn't see well but I saw that the ground was wet. It was either raining or rained already. I love rain but today it just made me even more somber (I think that is the best word to describe how today is). It's not in a "life stinks" way but it's just "where is this going" kind of a way.

I guess you didn't know this but I wrote a song to ask a girl out on a date. It was fun writing the song so I've been trying to write another song; however, even though I figured out what chords I want to use and strumming patterns, I couldn't think of what I wanted to write about.

The future is unknown because we only live in the present; however, we know the future because we made choices because of the future. I have no idea what I am saying right now but I want to do my best. I don't want to give up easily anymore. I want to keep trying and trying. Even if I get hurt trying, I know that I've done my best and the Lord will consecrate my efforts.

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Back in Business...or Blogging

I haven't had much time to blog because I have been indexing like crazy this month but now I have some time since I've met my goal of 20,000 for this month and I am pretty sure my ward is going to win the stake indexing competition.

Anyways, I had  a ton of time at work to watch Ted talks again and this caught my attention:



It's Psychology so why wouldn't I watch it? I am not a huge fan of Neuro-Psychology but I thought the idea was cool. I don't necessarily agree even with using medication to treat mental illness either. Just watch it. It's interesting.

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The Issue is...

There is a huge issue of gay marriage going around the US and also in the Church. Members are split on pro-gay marriage and anti-gay marriage.

I am not going to talk about gay marriage. All I will say about that is I sustain and support prophets, seers, and revelators.

"What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same." -Doctrine and Covenants 1:38-

"Sustain" means: to give support or relief to, to supply with sustenance : nourish,  keep up, prolong, to support the weight of : prop; also : to carry or withstand (a weight or pressure), to buoy up , and to bear up under.

We sustained and will sustain our prophets, seers, and revelators during each General Conference and in local meetings time to time. I think we all need to figure out what that means.

"So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." -Revelation 3:16-

On the other hand, I also believe that Satan is trying really hard to heighten the conflict in the world and within the Church. This issue is getting so intense that people of the Church are getting divided. God doesn't want that. He wants His people to be united as a Zion, one heart and one mind. If we let this issue get to our heads too much, we will start to judge each other and start having contention against one another.

The issue is not gay marriage, politics, or who's right and who's wrong. The issue is "are we loving God and love our neighbors (the two greatest commandments)?".

"If ye love me, keep my commandments." -John 14:15-

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Being a Father

Free time at work. Whaaaaat?

I have been indexing like CRAAAAZY so I haven't had time to blog but today I do!

I've been thinking about what it means to be a father. In the Marriage Prep class, we have been talking about how if we have a list of qualities that we want in our future spouses, that list should be for us, who we should become. I realized that I want someone who has motherly qualities; therefore, I need to have fatherly qualities. I started to think about what that meant. What does it mean to be a father? It meant being selfless, humble, patient, and charitable. A father works all day so that a child can open a door to a pantry or a fridge and expect to find food without any doubt.

As I thought about this, I realized that having father-like qualities means having Christlike (or God-like) attributes. Our Heavenly Father is, obviously, our Father. He loves and cares for us. What dose He do for us? Everything. He provides whatever we need. He protects us from harm. We, like a little child, expects to find things without knowing where they come from (blessings are all around us).

Basically, to be a father, I need to develop Christlike attributes. When I start to become more father-like, I would be able to develop Christlike love toward others as well because I will understand God's love for all of His children.

Additionally, this morning I listened to Elder Oaks talk from the last General Conference. He said:

"Children are highly vulnerable. They have little or no power to protect or provide for themselves and little influence on so much that is vital to their well-being. Children need others to speak for them, and they need decision makers who put their well-being ahead of selfish adult interests." -Protect the Children-

As we are powerless to God, children are also powerless to us. As God loves, cares, and protects us, we must love, care, and protect our children.

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A Competition?

Are our lives all about competing? Was this world created so we can all come down and compete to be the best we can? I don't believe it. I don't believe that we have limited resources in this world that we have to fight for them.

People talk about how if you can't become the best in a field, you shouldn't be in it at all. If you can't do it, don't try it at all. It's OK to push people down so that you can get to the top. If you can't compete, you will never be able to become something/someone you want to be.

"And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die..." -2 Nephi 28:8 (emphasis added)-

Sound familiar? If you believe that is how we should live our lives, why did Christ give up His life for all of us? It doesn't make any sense. It will never make any sense to those who believe that view.

I say that life is not a competition. We all have the same goal: eternal life. Eternal life cannot be obtained by yourself. For one, you have to be married to truly have Eternal life. I capitalized "E" of Eternal life because Eternal is God's name (Doctrine and Covenants 19:10-12). You will never have God's life without being married in the temple.

Now going back to the concept that life is not a competition. Can you truly be saved by yourself? If there was no one around for you to love (to keep the greatest two commandments), how can you be saved? How can you develop Christlike attributes?

You say you need to compete to get resources to serve others? Then why would people give and serve others so much? Can we all not succeed? Are resources really limited? Can we all obtain those resources? Let's think about the Law of Consecration. We should live principles of the Law of Consecration. Pride of money will always bring out the natural man. Lose it. Just serve others.

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Uncertainty

Uncertainty. It's something that is not pleasing at all. Why? Because you do not know. Not knowing gives you fear. Fear overtakes faith.

Right now, my life is full of uncertainties. I don't know what's going to happen after I graduate in 7 weeks or so. I don't know what I am doing with my personal life.

I guess it doesn't make me depressed but it worries me. Meta-worry (worrying about worrying) kills me also. I am worried that I am worrying about all these uncertainties.

These uncertainties might come from me more than anyone else. I am not confident with myself. I feel like I am not good enough. I don't have high self-esteem or self-confident. Sometimes I feel like it's easier for me to give up on everything because I feel like there is no point in trying when I know (I think I know) that nothing is going to work out. That's why before, I wanted to just drop everything and move to Africa where there are less expectations.

I don't have a solution. I have no clue what is expected of me from God. If I have uncertainties and if I start to get worried about these uncertainties, I am lacking faith for sure. I am not going to lie that I know I am lacking faith right now. I want to be strong. I want to exercise my faith but I don't know what to do. I don't know anything. All I know is that God knows me and loves me. I know that the Savior died for me. I know the truthfulness of the gospel but I don't know or am not sure about anything else.

What am I to do?

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Persistence of Vision

Persistence of vision is "the phenomenon that produces the illusion of movement when viewing motion pictures."

When you think about the image above, there are multiple shots of a person riding a horse. If you were to turn that into a film, you would see the person on a horse moving.

Life is like this: we are in motion all the time; however, we are still in the moment. Let me clarify it. We are so busy moving, acting, doing things that we forget to stop and think about what's going on right now. We forget to be happy now as Elder Uchtdorf stated.

"The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives."

We shouldn't just go through life without enjoying what is around us right now. Don't miss out on what is around you.

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My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 10

Recently, I have been kind of down. I was sick. I wasn't sure about the future. I thought about dropping everything and move to Africa and join a tribe. I wasn't sure about my full potential. I felt lonely because I felt like I was the only one suffering. I felt like I was worthless.

Today, I want to testify that God, my Father in Heaven, knows me (and you). He loves me. He cares. He knows what I need to hear.

I can finally say that I love BYU (Brigham Young University) because even in a secular class, I can learn gospel principles. In a secular institution, I can feel the Spirit. In what other educational institutions in the world (except other Church institutions) could you feel the Spirit, learn gospel principles, and receive personal revelations?

I want to tell you the principle that I have learned in my class today: everyone is a sinner. Whether it be your parents, your bishop, your stake president, or the prophet of our Church, we are all sinners. That gave me comfort. That gave me peace. I am not alone in this journey of mortal life. Everyone is suffering. Everyone is trying to be more like Christ. Everyone fails time to time but we are all trying to become better.

God knows my potential. He knows who and what I can become. He is continually refining me. If I weren't at work but at home, I would be bawling my eyes out right now because I am so grateful for God's mercy and Christ's grace that strengthen me.

My Heavenly Father loves me and I have no doubt about that.

Related Posts

My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 9

My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 8
My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 7
My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 6
My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 5

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Remembering Blessings

There has been something I've been thinking about.

When I was baptized, there were so many people who helped my family out and fellowshipped us. They were always there when we needed help and continued to be our friends even until now. I made tons of friends because everyone talked to me and were kind to me.

Even though such experiences helped to become who I am today, I became too comfortable in the Church that I forget to extend this fellowship to others. I feel so guilty of accepting this blessing but not sharing it with others.

There are always people who need fellowship in the Church or just need friends. Why would I not talk to them? Because I lack courage. Because I fear. I do not fear what others might think of me if I talked to them. Then what am I afraid of? I don't know. However, whatever it may be, I need to overcome it with charity, the pure love of Christ. If I truly loved God's children, I would always try to lift them up.

"Because I have been given much I too must give..."

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Faith and Trials

It's been a while since I have written. I actually should even be blogging because I should be studying for a test; however, I was thinking about one of my friends whose family is going through some really rough time. It involves cancer.

It is tough (and the word "tough" is not strong enough to describe this kind of a situation) when the concept of death is close in your life. It's hard to accept that someone so close to you and someone whom you love so dearly could leave you in this mortal life.

We understand that we should have faith in Jesus Christ and in His Atonement. We know that through faith, all things can be accomplish. We know that faith is what motivates us to do good. However, when trials come in our lives, we waiver and start to doubt.

People always tell us to have faith when trials come. However, they don't explain why we should have faith. They don't explain how faith could help us. I do not claim to understand faith 100%. However, I do believe that faith is essential in our lives and especially when we are going through trials. If there is anything you take away from reading this, it should be this: FAITH DOES NOT MAKE TRIALS GO AWAY OR MAKE THEM EASY; IT STRENGTHENS US SO THAT WE CAN BEAR THEM AND MOVE FORWARD.

Faith has effects on US, not trials or tribulations. Why? When we have faith; we trust God, we believe in Christ, we believe Christ, we believe in the Atonement, and we believe in the Plan of God. We know that life moves on. Even when a person passes on, it's not the end of life, of us, nor of that person. Life moves on. We move on (but we still keep that person alive in us). The deceased moves on to the next life and waits for that happy moment to receive a perfect body and to stand before God the Father to be judged. It is not the end. Knowing this and believing in this gives us faith. And somehow, by God's power, trials don't seem so bad anymore. They seem so easy to us. They seem so bearable.

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