Repentance, Forgiveness, Agency

I am in need of repentance and of your forgiveness.

Recently, I have been selfish and thought only about myself. I worried about getting hurt and tried to protect myself. However, I have not thought about how you would feel or what you thought.

I could have only complained to you about my problems. I could have ignored you so I wouldn't get hurt. I am sorry. I should have thought about how you felt and you would feel.

Even now, I am worried about how I am feeling rather than helping patrons at work. I am doing mediocrity work rather than doing my best or being enthusiastic. I need to repent. I need to change.

I don't want to give excuses but I want you to be understanding at the same time. I have been hurt many times and I get depressed easily. Obviously, I don't want you to hurt me; however, I am not saying that it's by any of you but of myself. You see, I realized that it's not what happens that makes me sad; I make myself sad. Just like Satan can't make me do things, nothing can make me sad. I choose to be sad.

So don't feel bad if you think you caused me harm but forgive me if I blamed you or if you felt like I blamed you. I will repent and stop blaming others for my sadness. I will also do my best to choose to be happy.