Looking for the Perfect One; Being the Perfect One

I am writing this based off of these two articles/posts: How to Find a Real Man and Dating Advice: Looking Past the List.

I have never made a list of qualities I look for in a woman that I want to marry. Don't ask me why because it was never intentional. However, as I went on a lot of dates and dated a few girls, I realized that I don't really have a "list" of qualities that attracts me. In a way, I just go on dates with those whom I find fun and intriguing. However, if I were to make a list right now, I would say that the most important things (see how it's plural?) are me feeling like she has a testimony of the gospel, being able to have intellectual conversations, and being able to see my potential. Those are the things I always look for.

However, I learned that the list that I make should be for us to develop first. It means that we should develop those qualities first before looking for someone with those qualities because if he/she doesn't think you have those qualities, that person wouldn't want to date you either. For myself, if a girl doesn't feel like I have a testimony of the gospel, why does it matter if I feel that she does?

I know that the whole point of the second article is about looking past the list. However, the list that she was talking about consisted of physical qualities; whereas, mine is not (maybe the second one on my list is still a lot to ask). I understand her point. I really do, and there are no buts. Going along with some of her points, I do think that I am focused on finding the perfect one. To me the perfect one is someone who has it all, with whom I would not doubt my decision of dating/marrying her.

However, it is hard to not doubt or fear in a relationship. Why? Because we all want to make the right decision. It's obvious that no one wants to get a divorce and be unhappy. However, as the first article talks about, we need to work at it. I have learned that very recently unfortunately. I have ended a relationship because I thought that relationships are supposed to last forever just naturally. That's not true. Do you have a good relationship with your parents or siblings even though you fought with them all the time? You have to work hard to love them! It's the same with dating; you have to work to continue to love them and love them even more when you find out about their weaknesses and faults (I am sure you will find a lot of them when you get married).

Looking for the one you want to marry doesn't work by just you looking. It takes time and effort searching, but most importantly, it takes you becoming the one that the girl/boy of your dreams would like to marry. You must become the person on your list to meet the person on your list. However, don't let what's not important/worldly/trivial qualities stop you from seeing the perfect person for you. Remember, if you are looking for a person who is perfect, you will miss the perfect person for you and that person will know that you are not perfect for him/her.

*I have said "the one" or "the perfect one" but know that I do believe that there are more than one person who could be perfect for you.

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Magnifying Your Calling

Almost all the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints want to magnify their callings for one reason or another. I want to magnify my calling because it will bring others to come closer to Christ and bring happiness to their lives.

I have been thinking for a long time what it means to magnify a calling that you receive, but first let's talk about the mission/goal of your calling. As an activities committee co-chair, you would want to plan activities where members of your ward would come, mingle, and have fun. As a temple committee co-chair, you want to plan a ward temple trip so that people would have an opportunity to go to the temple at least once a month. As an elders quorum or a relief society president, you find ways to serve brethren or sisters and help them be active in the Church. It may seem like they all have different goals or purposes. However, the foundation of those goals is this: invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end (Preach My Gospel pg. 1). When you focus on helping others come unto Christ, you are fulfilling your calling whatever it may be.

Now, how does that help you magnify your calling? If you are focusing on people who might be struggling or who need help, you plan activities, lessons, times, etc around those people's needs. Instead of planning activities, you are now helping them feel the Spirit and come close to Christ. One thing I noticed when I started thinking this way is that I am constantly thinking about what I can do fulfill my calling better. It doesn't just happen once a week but it becomes a daily routine. I spend some time pondering about it and writing things down, and the Lord sometimes sends me people who gives me more and many times better ideas on how to fulfill my calling. When the Lord commanded us to be "anxiously engaged in a good cause," I believe this is what He was referring to.

I am not perfect at fulfilling my calling, let alone magnifying it. However, when our goal becomes bringing others to Christ, we see more blessings and receive more revelations on how to magnify our callings. Take some time each day to think about your calling and what you can do to magnify it. You will see so much difference.

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New Understanding of the Fall

I went to the temple today and learned so many things about the Fall.

If we just read the scriptures, we will never fully understand the relationship between Adam and Eve. All we know is that they were "help meet" to each other. Do we see them as a husband and a wife who loved each other very much? They, I safely assume, loved each other, served each other, and worked together. I assume that they showed affection for each other in some ways. Because they loved each other, Adam was willing to listen to Eve's understanding of God's plan and her reasoning. I think we all can learn so much from their relationship with each other.

Second, Even didn't take the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil just because she was tempted. She was tempted, yes; however, it gave her an opportunity to think about the consequences of her choices and realized that even though she will be disobeying the Father, she and Adam would be able to have children. They would be able to progress/experience life/gain wisdom which wouldn't have been possible at the Garden of Eden in the state of innocence. She knew that having children and progressing were more important. She was wise and we should be grateful that she was a wise woman because without her making that choice, we would not be here. She sinned for us. I don't doubt she and also Adam felt godly sorrow when they knew what they had to do. However, they did nonetheless for all mankind.

I am grateful that Even was a wise First Mother to all of us. Truly, she was the first to take the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil (the forbidden fruit) because she was wise and understood God's plan for mankind. She deserves our respect and gratitude.

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Be Happy Now

Forget-me-not

"...if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us.
"This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life." -From Forget Me Not by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf-

As I was writing in my journal, I wanted to start writing something that would be beneficial for those (most likely my posterity) who read my journals. As I thought about it, I had an inspiration to write about being happy with what you have. President Uchtdorf gave a talk on it in 2011 during General Relief Society Meeting (and yes, I have watched and read it online) and it goes perfectly with my thought.

A lot of times we focus so much on what we don't have that we forget to be grateful for what we have. If you keep complaining about life, being bored, not being in a relationship, having no friends, etc, you will never appreciate what you have, talents you already have, friends you already have, and the joy of being single. I am not saying that have more things will make you happier. What I am saying though is that if you only focus on what you don't have, you will never be happy when you obtain what you wanted because you will only seek out for what you don't have.

A friend, M., reminded me how if you are happy being single (I would add "with what you have), you will be happy when you are in a relationship (or when you have more). If you are not satisfied with life right now, you will not be satisfied with life when you are in a relationship. You might say that you will be happier when you are with someone. That is true; however, you will think about "better" things or what the person doesn't have rather than what he/she has or what you already have.

I believe that is the point that President Uchtdorf was trying to make. You should be striving for better things; however, you should not be so focused on those things and blinded by them that you are so oblivious to what you have around you now.

Related Post
Giving Gratitude

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Giving Gratitude

As many of you know, I keep a journal. Currently, I am on my 11th journal since the second semester of the senior year of high school and it's about time to change to a 12th journal. I write from religious things to very personal things but recently, I realized that I have a hard time coming up with things to write. Perhaps, it's due to lack of events in my life since I don't go to school and I can't really write about patients at work. Therefore, I decided to come up with one thing that I am grateful for each day so that I would have something to write about everyday and I will focus more on spiritual things.

"And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more." -Doctrine and Covenants 78:19-

In the most recent First Presidency Message by President Eyring, he stated:

"President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) described that process of inspired writing: 'Those who keep a book of remembrance are more likely to keep the Lord in remembrance in their daily lives. Journals are a way of counting our blessings and of leaving an inventory of these blessings for our posterity.'
"As you start to write, you could ask yourself, 'How did God bless me and those I love today?' If you do that often enough and with faith, you will find yourself remembering blessings. And sometimes you will have gifts brought to your mind that you failed to notice during the day but that you will then know were a touch of God’s hand in your life."

I need to recognize the Lord's hand in my life each day and remember that I have been given so much even though I am not perfect. It is true that I would like more blessings in my life but for me, recognizing all these blessing will help me turn to the Lord more often and help me become more obedient to be worthy of those blessings. There are blessings all around us that we fail to recognize. I truly believe that when we recognize these blessings, we will be able to recognize His love for us and how often He blesses us with what we need.

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Creativity for My Journal

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Intimidated

I have been thinking about this for a while and I decided to actually write about it so that I could form a concrete idea about it. You see, as a guy and as a guy who lives in Provo, Utah, I am "supposed" to ask a girl out on a date (this could be another topic to discuss later). Anyways, that's not the point. What I wanted to talk about was how sometimes guys might get intimidated to ask a girl out. Maybe not every guy but I am one of those guys who looks at a girl and thinks, "She is really pretty and fun to hang out with but she's too intellectual/artsy/musical/athletic/etc so I am too intimidated/scared to ask her out."

Maybe it's just me but that is so intimidating  that I would not ask her out. It's not a bad quality that a person has but I am so worried about not being able to carry on a conversation or not having anything in common that I would not even ask her out. As I write this, I realize how stupid that sounds because people are not interested in one thing and I believe that "opposites attract;" however, I can't get the courage to ask girls out if I feel that they are, in a way, out of my league.

So how do I fix this? Simple; ask them out anyways. I don't really know them until I talk to them and spend time with them. Maybe they are interested in me (or you) but because you didn't ask them out and didn't give them a chance, you would lose a great opportunity to at least make some friends.

Being intimidated is my choice. I looked at a great quality of a person and decided that it is too much for me. However, how would I really know that is too much for me? What am I really scared of? Maybe I think that when a girl is, for example, way athletic, she probably wants to spend her time being outdoor and playing sports all the time instead of just hanging out. That sounds really dumb. I need to just ask myself why I wouldn't ask a girl out and if the answer is fear, then I need to get the courage to ask her out anyways.

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Life Decisions and God's Will

Recently, I have noticed that many people have chosen paths that were way different than they have planned or wanted. C. have chosen to go back to school after having a pretty good career. H. felt that she should not serve a mission. S. is moving home instead of staying in Provo. D. moved to Provo out of whim and got jobs lined up for him.

It requires so much faith for them to recognize the promptings and act on them even though it would change their lives so much. I fully support everyone's decision because I believe that they have pondered about their choices for a very long time. I admire them for moving forward with faith and always relying on the Lord.

I need to have the same faith which will help me to rely on the Spirit more and always trust the Lord. I was reminded of this scripture:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." -Isaiah 55:8&9-

It reminds us how the Lord is in charge and we should trust Him and follow Him always. All the choices I have made and things that have been happening in my life are not necessarily what I have planned or thought would happen; however, I trust the Lord that He is guiding me at this point in my life and refining me continually so that I could become whom He wants me to be. Through all the experiences, I will be able to develop all the talents I am capable of having and draw out my full potential as a son of God, as a future god.

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Losing Man Cards

I am closing the Kyoo Tips blog because I got nothing else to post about anymore. However, I wanted to keep this post to entertain y'all.
________________________________________________________________________________________
If you want to keep your man-cards, never to tell your female friends or anyone, for that matter anything that could question your manhood. Consider the following:

1. "Oh, yea! I have a Pinterest account too!"
2. "Do you have a wedding folder?"
3. "I am following you on Pinterest!"
4. Don't talk about wedding dresses.
5. Don't ask girls about their wedding colors.
6. Don't judge engagement pictures: "this one isn't good because you can't see her face!"
7. Don't talk about how many pairs of shoes you own.
8. Don't talk about how much you love shopping for shoes online.
9. Don't tell them how much you cried while watching Tangled...or Korean movies.
10. Don't use a blow dryer (or don't tell if you do).
11. Don't use a hair straightener (or don't tell if you do).
12. Dislike shopping (or don't tell if you like it).
13. Don't talk about hair products: "I own hairspray, glue, wax, pomade, and fiber gum!"
14. Don't talk about how much weight you lost.
15. Don't admit that you love wearing an apron.
16. Don't talk about how much you love Korean dramas.

I hope you wouldn't do any of these things because I lost numerous man cards saying most of them above...I just lost some.

17. Don't admit that you have done any of those things above.

*Disclosure: Although it may sound like I am all about men showing their manhood, I don't honestly care about "losing man cards." I can straight up tell you that I have done many of those things. This post is to make you laugh, not to promote manliness. This is definitely to promote womanliness... Just laugh and move on.

*Updated on 8/13/2013

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"I Will Be Your Light"

I was reading 1 Nephi 17 when I came across verse 13 which says, "And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led."

As I read it, I realized a theme of First Nephi which is "trusting the Lord." Even from the beginning of the book, Lehi's family left Jerusalem without any possessions except for certain necessities and entered wilderness without any plans. Nephi went back to Jerusalem to get the plates without a plan. The family wandered the wilderness without knowing where they were really going. Nephi started to build a ship that he has never done before. They sailed to the promised land without knowing where it was.

They knew what was required of them but they had no idea how to fulfill them. However, they exercised faith and trusted the Lord. They also didn't just wait for the Lord to give them whatever they needed but they did their part first. they moved forward then the Lord blessed them with guidance and tools they needed to fulfill anything that was required of them.

Our lives are the same as Lehi's family's journey in the wilderness; we don't know how to accomplish all the things that the Lord requires of us. He doesn't expect us to know how but He expects of us a willing heart to be obedient. When we are doing our best with faith that He will "prepare a way...that [we] may accomplish the thing which He commandeth [us]" (1 Nephi 3:7), we will be able to accomplish anything.

Going back to 1 Nephi 17:13, when we keep His commandments we can see His hands in our lives and know that He is with us. He is our Light that will cast out all darkness and make our path way bright.

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The Worth of Souls

"Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." -Doctrine and Covenants 18:10-

We forget that the worth of our souls is great when we make mistakes or trials come our ways. I remember thinking that I was not good enough to receive blessings from the Lord when things didn't work out the way I would like them to. It is one of the worst lie that Satan uses to convince us that we are not good enough for our Father in Heaven.

The worth of our souls is always great in the sight of God because the worth is the Only Begotten Son's life. Our Savior has suffered and died for our souls that we might break "the bands of death" and that we might return to our Heavenly Father through repentance and receiving forgiveness (Doctrine and Covenants 18:12). Because He loves us and because He cares for us, He was willing to make the greatest sacrifice of humankind by sacrificing the only person who was without sin, Jesus the Christ. The Son was also obedient to His Father and willingly gave up His life for His brothers and sisters. He was tempted, suffered, and was afflicted so that He could take upon Himself our pains, sicknesses, infirmities, and sins (Alma 7:11-13). What They ask of us is simple: be obedient. All we need to do is keep the covenants that we have made when we are baptized and at the temple.

To change the shift from ourselves to others, I want you to now apply to this principle to others. It is very true that the worth of souls is great because the price was Christ. However, I would like to believe that the worth is also great because we all benefit from having people around us. Let me explain clearly. Think of a friend of yours. Now, imagine that you have never met that person. What would have happened if you have never met that person? Would you have benefited the same way as you have been? Another example is missionary work. People say that if you didn't go on a mission, the person/people who would have received the gospel would have needed to either wait longer in this life or wait till the next life to receive it.

The point I want to make is that we need to work harder to bring everyone to Christ. Help them realize that they are important and are needed in all of our lives because they can help others come unto Christ even if they don't think they can. It's one of Satan's lies that you can't help others or no one will benefit from you. It's a lie that you are not worth as much as others. Everyone needs to know that they are worth every effort that we can put forth to bring them back to Christ and that they can help others do the same.

Our lives are intertwined and not having one person could lose some, if not a lot, meaning of our lives. I truly believe that our lives would be full when we have everyone participating in each other's life. If I weren't here, would you have read something like this? Would you have had time to think about the worth of your soul or of others'? Perhaps. However, because I am writing this you are reminded to appreciate your life and help others appreciate their lives also.

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