Recently, I made a list of pros and cons of something that I felt important in my life. Not an easy decision I could have made just thinking about it. As I was working on this list, I thought of a sentence from my patriarchal blessing which told me that my testimony is the most important thing as I make difficult decisions. I pondered on that sentence for many years but I never felt like the testimony impacted how I made decisions. For example, the decision to not drink and not smoke was not very difficult. However, as I ponder on this right now, I realized that attending the temple regularly is a difficult decision and I have to rely on my testimony to make that decision.
Anyways, the reason why I talked about my patriarchal blessing is because I had to rely on my testimony that God loves me, that He will guide me because He loves me, that He wants me to be happy, that He knows what's the best for me, that He will not lead me astray, etc to make a decision as I worked on that list.
When I finished that list, I made a decision and prayed about it. I felt good about the decision that I had made. I acted on it but turned out that that wasn't the path that I was supposed to take. What were the consequences of that decision I made? I learned to rely on the Lord, I learned to trust Him, I learned that this experience was exactly what I needed because I found out something that I would have never found out if I didn't act on it, and my testimony grew stronger. The only negative consequence I can think of is feeling foolish but I feel more impassive than foolish at this moment. I don't blame God. I don't blame myself. I don't blame anyone. I am only grateful to Him for the opportunity and the courage He has given me to act on it. I am grateful to my friends who encouraged me to make a list of pros and cons to make a decision, who motivated me to act on my decision, and who comforted me when it didn't work out. I am just full of gratitude from this experience. The Lord showed me so much love and mercy. I am grateful that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).
I want to echo some of the scriptures I used in the past "Not My Thoughts" posts.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." -Isaiah 55:8-Related Posts
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." -Isaiah 48:10-
"...for he is like a refiner’s fire, and like fuller’s soap.
"And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness." -Malachi 3:2&3-
Not My Thoughts Part 3
Not My Thoughts Part 2
Not My Thoughts
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