Instrument of God

Last night, my roommate, K., got a call from a girl in our ward. She needed a blessing. To be honest, we don't get a lot of calls from people in our ward asking for a blessing so I was excited. I was excited to give a blessing because I can exercise the Priesthood of God and serve others. Someone said once that the Priesthood is an instrument to serve others but not yourself. You can't give a blessing to yourself or perform ordinances to yourself. The blessing was an amazing experience! I felt so much peace and felt so close to God.

This morning, I woke up early planning to donate plasma early. Around 7:45, I got a call from my co-worker asking me if I could come in at 8 to cover her shift because she was sick. I am not going to lie. I hesitated for few seconds. Then I thought, 'This is the Lord telling me not to donate plasma.' So I told her that I would. Of course, I had to call my supervisor to let her know that I was coming in for my co-worker and that I was going to be late a little bit.

Obviously, the second experience is not as spiritual as the first but it still was an opportunity for me to serve someone. Also, me waking up that early and being (almost) ready to leave the apartment before 8 were tender mercies of God. I do not doubt that.

I want to echo what Winston Churchill said once:

"To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour."

I hope to be ready all the time.

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Not My Thoughts Part 6

The writer of this blog is an inspiration to me. She lost her husband about a year ago through a brain tumor and has two little toddlers to care for. It is very hard for her to cope with her husband's death but she is growing spiritually everyday and never ceases to trust God (you should realize by now that I rarely say 'trust or believe in God). In one of her recent posts, she mentioned how God has a perfect timing and quoted Elder Neal A. Maxwell.

"The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best? The same is true with the second coming and with all those matters wherein our faith needs to include faith in the Lord's timing for us personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes." -Neal A. Maxwell-

I realized that this concept was what I lacked. That's why I couldn't exercise my faith. I didn't trust the Lord's timing and didn't understand that He has "our welfare at heart." The Lord loves us. He wants us to be happy. Obviously, He doesn't give us anything that we desire right away (because either your desire is not what the Lord desires or it's just not the right time); however, if we understood that the Lord cares for us and knows what's the best for us, He will give us whatever we need in His own timing.

I am ashamed to say that I trusted the Lord when I complained and didn't understand His timing. I am ashamed to even say that I had faith in Him. However, because I am weak, the Lord is willing to make me strong as I come to Him in humility. I know He's preparing me for something great because I had to humble myself many times recently and learn so many gospel principles. I am grateful that the Lord humbles me because He loves me.

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My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 9

"I will not leave you comfortless." John 14:18

On my mission, I made a lot of highlights on many scriptures. Recently as I was going through the scriptures, I realized that most of them talk about the Lord being beside me and that He will not leave me alone. I do not remember the thoughts or feelings I had when I made those highlights but I am only grateful for the Lord's tender mercies to help me when I needed Him the most.

I had a thought on Tuesday which is always comforting for anybody who feels like the promised blessings have not been realized. The thought was, "I am sorry, [your name]. I know it is hard. I understand what you are going through, but be patient just a little bit more. It will all be worth it." You know it will be worth it. It will be worth it.

Talking about how it will be worth it made me think of this video which was based on Elder Holland's talk. I used to watch this video everyday because it gave me hope that everything will be all right.

This morning I was reading the Bible. I was reading in the Topical Guide under "Goodness." I was hoping to find something about God's goodness and His willingness to help us. What I found was something more profound which I am grateful for. I read Galatians 5:22-23 which talk about the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance) and I decided to dive into what each word meant. The "fruit" means the mission of the Holy Ghost so those words that are fruits of the Spirit are the things that the Holy Ghost do for us. I wrote in my journal that "we can feel God's love, we can be happy, we can feel comfort and peace, we can endure many things with patience, we feel charity toward others, we receive tender mercies, we increase our faith through trusting Him, we can be humble and submit to God's will, and we can have a control of our body to be an agent to ourselves. These are the things which the Holy Ghost helps us with. I have experienced all of them and still experience them." Have you experienced such things? If you have, you have felt the Holy Ghost and the Lord has been telling you that you are loved by Him.

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Not My Thoughts Part 5

I saw one of my friends at the library who asked about my life. As we were talking, he told me about how he was kind of frustrated that this girl who took out on few dates might not be interested in him. I understand how he felt because I've been in the same shoe many times.

Dating is frustrating because it's like a guessing game and you will never know if you are right or not unless you talk to the other person. What's more frustrating is that when things just don't work out...ever.

I told him about my life and my experiences with dating. I told him about a book, Look Up, My Soul, which helped me humble myself and rely on the Lord completely. I told him many things that I have learned recently. Then I realized that a lot of things I have experienced and have learned are not only for me but for others.

My life, I know for surely, is to serve others. I have been given this life so that I can gain a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ to share it with others. I have this physical body so that I can serve others. My life is not mine but others' (which makes God's).

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My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 8

God truly is merciful to those who seek after Him.

When I was down, my Father led me to this scripture that so that I can continue to be strong and that I would cry to my Savior for a deliverance. What I received was more than what I asked for. I was told that I should try to understand others and where they are coming from. I had been so selfish that I was focusing too much on myself. If I turned my focus from myself to others, I would be able to understand my own situation and also help others overcome their own challenges. I've been blinded by my own problems and my own feelings that I forgot to have charity for others and serve them. I have failed to serve my Father. I have a lot to repent at this time but I wish to tell you this one principle that when you need help, ask God.

"Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time." -Doctrine and Covenants 6:14-

I know He loves me and He wants me to have faith. When I lack faith, He guides me to strengthen my faith. When I am down, He inspires me to pray to Him. When I seek wisdom, He leads me to the scriptures. He is my loving Heavenly Father.

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Fasting And Covenant

I feel like I should let you know this. When I write things that happen in my life especially spiritual things, I am not bragging that I am righteous or that I receive inspirations very frequently. I do not wish to do that. I am not righteous although I strive to be. I do not receive inspirations very frequently although I hope to. I just want all of you to feel the Spirit by reading my stories and thoughts so that you can receive your own inspirations. I wish to inspire you and hope that you feel the Spirit rather than I boast of myself.

This morning I woke up earlier than I needed to (I woke up at 7 even though I didn't have anything going on until 1 pm). I just got up, worked out, took a shower, wrote in my journal, then studied the scriptures. For some reason, I didn't feel like eating yet and thought that I should study the scriptures first. As I was studying about fear and doubt, I had a thought that I should fast today. I work for four hours everyday standing and moving books (many of them are very heavy). It requires a lot of strength and you get thirsty very quickly. Then I thought about how I don't have to do this tomorrow and that it would be easy for me to fast tomorrow rather than today. However, I quickly realized that I got this inspiration today, not tomorrow. I was told to do it today! Right then, I knelt down and offered up a prayer.

I turned this fast into a covenant. I made a covenant that I would fast until 5 pm and asked the Lord to bless me with two things (sorry, kind of personal). All I can tell you is that it wasn't easy at all. I was so thirsty and hungry when I was working. I complained few times; however, every time I felt complaining, I offered up a prayer in my heart. The Lord granted me one of those two things very soon, but the second one did not happen until it was a little past 5 pm. The Lord accepted my fast! Even though the second thing was a desire of natural men (nothing bad, I promise), the Lord still accepted my fast and granted it to me.

As I was writing this event in my journal, I thought of this famous scripture:

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
"But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering" -James 1:5&6-

Have faith without any fear or doubt. If you fear or doubt, pray to have a perfect faith. 

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A Privilege to Know God

A quote by Francis Webster, who joined the Martin Handcart Company.

"Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company."

We all go through trials in our lives. Perhaps, not like Francis Webster or prophets in the scriptures. However, it does not matter what kind of trials you face or how difficult situations might be. What matters the most is how you face them.

Brother Webster made that declaration because a Sunday School teacher criticized church leaders for letting two handcart companies to cross the plains so late in the season. That's not how Brother Webster viewed it. He remembered it as a growing experience and a privilege to get to know God, his Father in Heaven.

I realize now how much I appreciate all the trials that God has given me. Especially the trials that happened recently because I feel that I started to turn toward God for help rather than falling in despair. I stopped complaining but started to asked to know His will and desire. I started to get to know who God is rather than to know about Him. I am grateful for trials.

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Half Birthday

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Usually I put the "Related Post" section at the end but I wanted you to read it first this time if you haven't.

This year I wanted to bake something on my half birthday so that more people can enjoy my food. Last night as I was surfing the internet, I found this blog with chocolate chip lava cookie recipe. I really wanted to make it so I decided to get some stuff this morning to make it. I took some pictures while I was making and baking them so here they are.

All the ingredients

Listening to music is the best thing to do while you are baking

Mr. Curtis Ferrin reading his book

So I was supposed to microwave some chocolate chips but it made a whole through the Ziploc bag

Dough done!

A mess I made

Before covering up

In the oven

A little accident: dropped a bag of baby carrots that I were going to use to  make lunch (not for baking)

DONE!

Ready to eat

I shared them with Curtis and next door neighbor, Nat. Then I took the rest to work for my co-workers. They liked them a lot.

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Signatures of God: Tender Mercies Revisited

Sorry that I am using this poem again but I had to talk about it again.

"A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any
    more than he.
I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green
    stuff woven.
Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner's name someway in the corners, that we may
    see and remark, and say Whose?" -Song of Myself by Walt Whitman.-

Have you read this talk by Elder Bednar?

The reason why I am talking about these two topics that I already talked about in the past is because I am reading this book called "Divine Signatures" by Elder Gerald Lund and he calls these tender mercies of the Lord, His signatures or an autograph from heaven.

He said,

"God loves His children and it pleases Him to bless them, especially when they are striving to do His will. These blessings, also called 'tender mercies,' come in many different forms and in many different ways.
"Sometimes, the Lord sends His blessings in such a highly unusual, dramatic, or precisely timed manner, that it might be likened to a 'divine signature.' It is as though the Lord 'signs' the blessing personally so that we will know with certainty that it comes from Him.
"In doing so, God not only gives us the blessing, but at the same time, He also strengthens our faith and deepens our testimony of Him." (p. 20)

A tender mercy of the Lord happened, I believe, two Mondays ago. I had to work at 10 am but I thought about going to the BYU Bookstore to look at some books. The first book that caught my eye was "Look Up, My Soul" by Elder Lund. When I opened up the book, the title page said, "Look Up, My Soul: The Divine Promise of Hope." Right then, I knew I had to buy that book but I checked out a copy from the library to read it first. I fell in love with that book in the first five minutes of reading that book. I learned so much and applied many principles in my life. My communication with the Almighty has changed. My attitude toward life and future has changed. I feel happier and I don't get discouraged, depressed, and saddened by challenges, trials, and mistakes anymore. I feel hopeful for the future. This scripture was reminded:

"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life." -2 Nephi 31:20

After finishing that book, nothing seems to drag me down. I feel like I am more in tuned with the Spirit because I am repenting everyday and recognizing my imperfection daily (I am not saying that I get depressed because I am imperfect but it gives me opportunities to humble myself and ask the Lord for strength).

Finding that book was one of the most important event in my life. I am grateful that the Lord guided me to find that book and the time He has granted me to read that book.

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Not My Thoughts Part 4

I must say that I am so grateful that God knows what I need in my life. I so grateful for the knowledge that He is guiding me and blessing me with many opportunities for me to grow spiritually. As a convert, I needed opportunities that will make me rely on the Lord and seek His guidance.

Recently, I made a list of pros and cons of something that I felt important in my life. Not an easy decision I could have made just thinking about it. As I was working on this list, I thought of a sentence from my patriarchal blessing which told me that my testimony is the most important thing as I make difficult decisions. I pondered on that sentence for many years but I never felt like the testimony impacted how I made decisions. For example, the decision to not drink and not smoke was not very difficult. However, as I ponder on this right now, I realized that attending the temple regularly is a difficult decision and I have to rely on my testimony to make that decision.

Anyways, the reason why I talked about my patriarchal blessing is because I had to rely on my testimony that God loves me, that He will guide me because He loves me, that He wants me to be happy, that He knows what's the best for me, that He will not lead me astray, etc to make a decision as I worked on that list.

When I finished that list, I made a decision and prayed about it. I felt good about the decision that I had made. I acted on it but turned out that that wasn't the path that I was supposed to take. What were the consequences of that decision I made? I learned to rely on the Lord, I learned to trust Him, I learned that this experience was exactly what I needed because I found out something that I would have never found out if I didn't act on it, and my testimony grew stronger. The only negative consequence I can think of is feeling foolish but I feel more impassive than foolish at this moment. I don't blame God. I don't blame myself. I don't blame anyone. I am only grateful to Him for the opportunity and the courage He has given me to act on it. I am grateful to my friends who encouraged me to make a list of pros and cons to make a decision, who motivated me to act on my decision, and who comforted me when it didn't work out. I am just full of gratitude from this experience. The Lord showed me so much love and mercy. I am grateful that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).

I want to echo some of the scriptures I used in the past "Not My Thoughts" posts.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." -Isaiah 55:8-
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." -Isaiah 48:10-
"...for he is like a refiner’s fire, and like fuller’s soap.
"And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness." -Malachi 3:2&3-

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