Kyoo, The Proud

I didn't realize this before but I think that when I get mad at someone or something, I am just being prideful. I am not being humble enough to accept people's opinions or take a minute to think about their point of view. 

Page 126 of Preach My Gospel, there is a Christlike attribute activity you can do. Under Charity and Love, there are two questions that made me reevaluate my life: "I feel a sincere desire for the eternal welfare and happiness of other people" and "I try to understand others' feelings and see their point of view."

I told a friend before that many Koreans are very prideful. I thought I was an exception but I was wrong. I am very prideful. I stopped thinking about other people's happiness but only cared about my own feelings. I tried to do anything that could protect me from getting hurt. When things didn't work out the way I wanted, I complained about how people didn't understand how I was feeling. For that, I am very sorry. I keep messing up. I keep complaining. I keep losing hope and faith. If I truly had faith and was humble, I would never lose hope and would never complain because I would always trust the Lord and accept His will. I would try to understand others' feelings and point of view. I would want their happiness even if it would cost mine.

I need to remember that my life is not my own; it's the Lord's and His children's. I did not come here to satisfy my needs and wants but to satisfy others' needs and wants. If I truly wanted other people's happiness, I would never get mad at them but try to understand what they are seeing and feeling so that I can help them any way I can.

Life is hard. It should be.

For he who is not able to abide the law of a celestial kingdom cannot abide a celestial glory. -Doctrine and Covenants 88:23-

If we are trying to live the law of the Celestial Kingdom, life should be hard. I am so ashamed of my faults; however, I hope to improve myself so that one day I can stand before my Maker spotless.

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Leaders of the Church

Yesterday, I was able to talk to one of my former bishops, Bishop C. I told him what was going on in my life and he gave me an advice. I felt prompted to listen carefully to what he was going to say. I didn't realize then that the advice will help me spiritually. I listened to that advice and pondered on it few hours after. I realized the truthfulness of the advice and applied it into my life.

What I want to talk about is how we receive advice from leaders of the Church all the time. All of them are inspired of God, but sometimes we feel like some do not apply to us so we do not heed them. However, if we write them down for what they are, they will be of great worth to us later on in life.

After the experience I had which led me to apply Bishop C.'s advice, I decided that I need to talk to my current bishop for advice also. He has a stewardship over me and I know he can receive inspirations that can help me.

"Invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end."

That is exactly what they do: they invite us. I am so grateful for wonderful examples of leaders in my life. They always inspire me to be a better person and help me get closer to my Father in Heaven and my Savior.

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Lemon Poppy Seed Muffins

Mixing sugar and lemon zest

About to make the dough

Making the frosting with lemon juice and powder sugar

In the oven

Done!

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Christ Is The Reason

Before I start, I just want to tell you something funny. I've been citing scriptures and putting links so much that I figured out how I can highlight the verse I need and send you straight to that verse. I know, that's kind of nerdy but it's just too easy to figure out.

"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." -Doctrine And Covenants 6:36-

I honestly don't remember the train of thought when I was looking for that verse but when I found it, I decided to analyze the meaning of it. How does looking to the Lord in every thought get rid of fear and doubt? What does it mean to "look unto [the Lord] in every thought"? The topical guide for "thought" was motivation. So we can say that a thought is a motivation or a reason to act. If Christ were our "thought," motivation, or reason to act, how would we act? We would try to align our will with His and would do everything that is righteous. We would become more Christlike because we would do what Christ would do. Wouldn't it be like asking yourself, "What would Christ do?" all the time? Perhaps, that's what it means to "look unto [Him] in every thought."

Also, when we are going through trials or temptations in our lives, we can always "look unto" Christ, who will give us peace and comfort.

"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." -John 14:18-

We do not have to doubt that our Father in Heaven loves us. We do not have to doubt that He would leave us alone. Just because Christ did it alone, we wouldn't have to think that we would have to do it alone. Christ did it alone so that we don't have to do it alone. We have nothing to fear because Christ is with us always. As one of the Primary songs, I Am a Child Of God explains this concept well:

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.

What we should always remember is that, He does walk beside us but it's up to us to take His hand so that He can lead us and guide us.

What comfort and hope that sentence gives: "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." Do not fear or doubt but look unto Christ. Just as the sign of His birth cast out fear and doubt, Christ Himself can also do the same.

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Instrument of God

Last night, my roommate, K., got a call from a girl in our ward. She needed a blessing. To be honest, we don't get a lot of calls from people in our ward asking for a blessing so I was excited. I was excited to give a blessing because I can exercise the Priesthood of God and serve others. Someone said once that the Priesthood is an instrument to serve others but not yourself. You can't give a blessing to yourself or perform ordinances to yourself. The blessing was an amazing experience! I felt so much peace and felt so close to God.

This morning, I woke up early planning to donate plasma early. Around 7:45, I got a call from my co-worker asking me if I could come in at 8 to cover her shift because she was sick. I am not going to lie. I hesitated for few seconds. Then I thought, 'This is the Lord telling me not to donate plasma.' So I told her that I would. Of course, I had to call my supervisor to let her know that I was coming in for my co-worker and that I was going to be late a little bit.

Obviously, the second experience is not as spiritual as the first but it still was an opportunity for me to serve someone. Also, me waking up that early and being (almost) ready to leave the apartment before 8 were tender mercies of God. I do not doubt that.

I want to echo what Winston Churchill said once:

"To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour."

I hope to be ready all the time.

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"For That Moment"

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Not My Thoughts Part 6

The writer of this blog is an inspiration to me. She lost her husband about a year ago through a brain tumor and has two little toddlers to care for. It is very hard for her to cope with her husband's death but she is growing spiritually everyday and never ceases to trust God (you should realize by now that I rarely say 'trust or believe in God). In one of her recent posts, she mentioned how God has a perfect timing and quoted Elder Neal A. Maxwell.

"The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best? The same is true with the second coming and with all those matters wherein our faith needs to include faith in the Lord's timing for us personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes." -Neal A. Maxwell-

I realized that this concept was what I lacked. That's why I couldn't exercise my faith. I didn't trust the Lord's timing and didn't understand that He has "our welfare at heart." The Lord loves us. He wants us to be happy. Obviously, He doesn't give us anything that we desire right away (because either your desire is not what the Lord desires or it's just not the right time); however, if we understood that the Lord cares for us and knows what's the best for us, He will give us whatever we need in His own timing.

I am ashamed to say that I trusted the Lord when I complained and didn't understand His timing. I am ashamed to even say that I had faith in Him. However, because I am weak, the Lord is willing to make me strong as I come to Him in humility. I know He's preparing me for something great because I had to humble myself many times recently and learn so many gospel principles. I am grateful that the Lord humbles me because He loves me.

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My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 9

"I will not leave you comfortless." John 14:18

On my mission, I made a lot of highlights on many scriptures. Recently as I was going through the scriptures, I realized that most of them talk about the Lord being beside me and that He will not leave me alone. I do not remember the thoughts or feelings I had when I made those highlights but I am only grateful for the Lord's tender mercies to help me when I needed Him the most.

I had a thought on Tuesday which is always comforting for anybody who feels like the promised blessings have not been realized. The thought was, "I am sorry, [your name]. I know it is hard. I understand what you are going through, but be patient just a little bit more. It will all be worth it." You know it will be worth it. It will be worth it.

Talking about how it will be worth it made me think of this video which was based on Elder Holland's talk. I used to watch this video everyday because it gave me hope that everything will be all right.

This morning I was reading the Bible. I was reading in the Topical Guide under "Goodness." I was hoping to find something about God's goodness and His willingness to help us. What I found was something more profound which I am grateful for. I read Galatians 5:22-23 which talk about the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance) and I decided to dive into what each word meant. The "fruit" means the mission of the Holy Ghost so those words that are fruits of the Spirit are the things that the Holy Ghost do for us. I wrote in my journal that "we can feel God's love, we can be happy, we can feel comfort and peace, we can endure many things with patience, we feel charity toward others, we receive tender mercies, we increase our faith through trusting Him, we can be humble and submit to God's will, and we can have a control of our body to be an agent to ourselves. These are the things which the Holy Ghost helps us with. I have experienced all of them and still experience them." Have you experienced such things? If you have, you have felt the Holy Ghost and the Lord has been telling you that you are loved by Him.

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Not My Thoughts Part 5

I saw one of my friends at the library who asked about my life. As we were talking, he told me about how he was kind of frustrated that this girl who took out on few dates might not be interested in him. I understand how he felt because I've been in the same shoe many times.

Dating is frustrating because it's like a guessing game and you will never know if you are right or not unless you talk to the other person. What's more frustrating is that when things just don't work out...ever.

I told him about my life and my experiences with dating. I told him about a book, Look Up, My Soul, which helped me humble myself and rely on the Lord completely. I told him many things that I have learned recently. Then I realized that a lot of things I have experienced and have learned are not only for me but for others.

My life, I know for surely, is to serve others. I have been given this life so that I can gain a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ to share it with others. I have this physical body so that I can serve others. My life is not mine but others' (which makes God's).

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My Heavenly Father Loves Me Part 8

God truly is merciful to those who seek after Him.

When I was down, my Father led me to this scripture that so that I can continue to be strong and that I would cry to my Savior for a deliverance. What I received was more than what I asked for. I was told that I should try to understand others and where they are coming from. I had been so selfish that I was focusing too much on myself. If I turned my focus from myself to others, I would be able to understand my own situation and also help others overcome their own challenges. I've been blinded by my own problems and my own feelings that I forgot to have charity for others and serve them. I have failed to serve my Father. I have a lot to repent at this time but I wish to tell you this one principle that when you need help, ask God.

"Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time." -Doctrine and Covenants 6:14-

I know He loves me and He wants me to have faith. When I lack faith, He guides me to strengthen my faith. When I am down, He inspires me to pray to Him. When I seek wisdom, He leads me to the scriptures. He is my loving Heavenly Father.

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Fasting And Covenant

I feel like I should let you know this. When I write things that happen in my life especially spiritual things, I am not bragging that I am righteous or that I receive inspirations very frequently. I do not wish to do that. I am not righteous although I strive to be. I do not receive inspirations very frequently although I hope to. I just want all of you to feel the Spirit by reading my stories and thoughts so that you can receive your own inspirations. I wish to inspire you and hope that you feel the Spirit rather than I boast of myself.

This morning I woke up earlier than I needed to (I woke up at 7 even though I didn't have anything going on until 1 pm). I just got up, worked out, took a shower, wrote in my journal, then studied the scriptures. For some reason, I didn't feel like eating yet and thought that I should study the scriptures first. As I was studying about fear and doubt, I had a thought that I should fast today. I work for four hours everyday standing and moving books (many of them are very heavy). It requires a lot of strength and you get thirsty very quickly. Then I thought about how I don't have to do this tomorrow and that it would be easy for me to fast tomorrow rather than today. However, I quickly realized that I got this inspiration today, not tomorrow. I was told to do it today! Right then, I knelt down and offered up a prayer.

I turned this fast into a covenant. I made a covenant that I would fast until 5 pm and asked the Lord to bless me with two things (sorry, kind of personal). All I can tell you is that it wasn't easy at all. I was so thirsty and hungry when I was working. I complained few times; however, every time I felt complaining, I offered up a prayer in my heart. The Lord granted me one of those two things very soon, but the second one did not happen until it was a little past 5 pm. The Lord accepted my fast! Even though the second thing was a desire of natural men (nothing bad, I promise), the Lord still accepted my fast and granted it to me.

As I was writing this event in my journal, I thought of this famous scripture:

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
"But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering" -James 1:5&6-

Have faith without any fear or doubt. If you fear or doubt, pray to have a perfect faith. 

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